Tuesday, November 19, 2013

When do you take a stand?

What happens when our authority figures are teaching something we know is not true?????



It's hard because we are always taught to respect authority and be considerate of others. I believe you can respect authority AND stand up for what you believe in! Let's admit it's hard to go against the flow when we believe differently than our peers, but it's WAY harder to go against the flow when we believe differently than our authority figures. None of us want to disappoint or upset someone that has authority over us and we are taught not to disagree with them, but I tell you it's ok to disagree with an authority figure when they are going against something that you know is biblically correct. And sometimes everything turns out ok...... sometimes it doesn't.

I learned this hard lesson when I was in college the second time around for nursing. I was taking a science class and within the first week of the class my professor started teaching evolution. She was very passionate that we all agree and that this was the only possible way the world could have been created. I finally raised my hand during one of the lectures and shared with her why I believed evolution was not the only way the earth could have come about. It must have been a pretty good argument because she was not happy that I had shared my beliefs. The entire semester she took it out on me through my grades. I knew what was going on and I even confronted her about it in the middle of the semester. She denied and said that I just didn't do the assignments or answer the questions on the tests or labs correctly. I compared my answers with several others in class and didn't have anything different. I ended up with a D for the semester in the class. I was so frustrated because I needed a C in that class and she knew that. I had to take the class again the next semester and made sure to take it under a different professor. This professor was not like the first and allowed all of us to freely share our opinions without fear. It was the SAME class, SAME material, SAME lab and I ended that semester with a B. 1 point shy of an A. When I got my final grade I went to the first professor with my grade. I remember walking into her office and saying "I wanted to show you the grade that I got for this class under a different professor. I just needed you to see that I should have gotten that grade in your class because there was nothing different except a chance to share my beliefs freely without persecution. Thank you for allowing me to experience that class with another professor, it was a much more enjoyable experience the second time around." She in turn said to me "I am glad that you were able to take what you learned from my class and better your grade with another shot." I smiled and turned around and walked out.

In the world we live in today we are seeing more and more persecution towards Christians. I would not have said this was so 15 or 20 years ago, but in the last 4-5 years we have seen this more and more. We are seeing Satan take control over situations and testing us to see where we stand. We are called to take a stand for what is right and to obey God's commands. If I had been rude and hateful to her for discriminating against me for being a Christian I don't believe I would have been in the right. We are proving NOTHING as Christians when we are mean and hateful in trying to prove a point. In fact we are doing more harm than good when we hatefully try to stand up for God. A good example of this is the Westboro Baptist church. I am sure you have heard of them. This is the church that travels all over the country. They teach that God kills men and women in combat, he kills children in school shootings, etc because our world is so evil. They are known for the very hateful attitude towards homosexuality. Instead of teaching others the love of God and how to minister with a peaceful attitude they turn others off and actually give Christians a bad name. 

 Yet let me be clear we are called to stand up and do what is right and if that means we respectfully do that to an authority figure I say GO FOR IT! You may fail the class, you may be sent to the principal, you may even get made fun of, but when you stand for what is right in a world that is doing wrong you will receive your reward 10 fold. Christians have been persecuted for standing up for what is right since the beginning. People have died in the name of Christ. We live in a country where we haven't had to fear that, but there are countries all over the world where declaring the name of Christ can get you in big trouble or even killed. And I don't want to scare you, but I see in our future it becoming that way in America.


We are already seeing prayer, Christ and Christianity being taken out of government and public forum. The more this happens the easier it will be for our government to begin persecuting Christians. And let's be honest our government is NOT being run by God fearing men and women. God is NOT the center of our country anymore and eventually it will be a war on Christianity.

So the question is Where is your faith? Where do you stand in your beliefs? Are you willing to stand up for what you believe in even if you get in trouble or get made fun of? If you were in a country where you could be killed for standing up in Christ's name would you stand up? This may seem like some deep stuff and it is, but I think Christians need to ask themselves where they stand. Men, women and teenagers. You are asked to stand up everyday with situations you deal with at school, at work, with your friends, on the weekends, and in class. When your friends make fun of someone else at school and are bullying someone do you stand up for Christ and what is right or do you join in? When you are taking a test and didn't study do you stand up for what is right and do your best or do your eyes wonder over to your neighbors test? When women at work are being mean and hateful to someone else in the workplace do you go out of your way to be kind to them or do you join in with the others and make them feel bad? We are given small battles everyday to stand up as Christians and the more victories we have in these battles will give us the strength in the bigger battles when it is crucial we stand up for what is right in Christ's name.

God tells us to obey authority, to pay our taxes and respect others...... UNLESS those things go against what he tells us in the Bible. And when it comes to those things that are against the Bible God EXPECTS us to stand up for what is right. He commands us to.

I pray that we don't see the extent of persecution of Christians in other countries here in America in my lifetime or in yours, but we need to be prepared that we don't know what the future brings and it could be possible. If it comes to that are we prepared? Will we be strong enough in our faith to stand up for what is right, or give in and allow Satan to convince us to fall?

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

To all the boys I've loved before.......




Most of you teenagers may not know where my title is coming from, but some of the parents and grandparents do! One of Keith's favorite singers Willie Nelson sang that song "To all the girls I've loved before" which was originally sung by Albert Hammond. It's a song of a man reminiscing about all the women he has loved in his life. I heard it on the radio the other day and it got me to thinking about the guys that I dated in my life before Keith. My history of dating could only be described as "The good, the bad, and the ugly".

 

Growing up there are the different phases girls and guys go through. When we are younger we are "going together". Which I always heard parents say "And where are you going?" I remember my first official boyfriend. It was in 3rd grade, during the summer at the swimming pool. He asked me to "go with him" and I said yes. A couple of weeks later at the pool he sent a friend over to break up with me. I don't think it phased me too much since the only time we ever saw each other was at the pool. Then we grow into the "talking" phase. This hits about 7th grade. Oddly enough the same boy that asked me to "go with him" was the first boy I "talked" to. It lasted a little longer the 2nd time with sitting by each other at lunch, talking on the phone at night and hanging out on Friday nights at the HS football game. I think we "talked" for a couple of months and then we broke up. He later ended up being one of my closest friends through High School. Going into High School we have the "in between" phase. This is a little tricky, it's not as assuring as "going together" or "talking" because High School relationships start with flirting at the locker or hanging out in class. Then you talk on the phone a couple of times and text each other. Then you might hang out with a group of friends for a few weeks and THEN you might have a one on one date. This is where the hard part comes in. When do you become a couple? You never know and really you never talk about it. I think people just hang out until the first person has the nerve to call the other their boy or girlfriend. I know things are a little different today than they were when I was in HS because now you can make it "Facebook" official so that the other person knows! :)  As we get into college the dating phase moves with us, but here again I think it is much more complicated. I went on several dates with a guy when I was a freshman in college. He would come hang out at my apartment and I would go hang out with him and his friends a lot, we talked on the phone all the time, and of course kissed. This went on for about 6 weeks and one night at a concert I bumped into him on a date with someone else. I was crushed, but he told a mutual friend "we were just friends."



I am not going to tell you that you shouldn't date and that you should wait for God to "bring you the one." I think dating can be a wonderful thing. And not necessarily from a romantic perspective. Sure there are A LOT of jerks out there. Let me say it again. There are A LOT of jerks out there, but there are also A LOT of good guys out there. I think dating is one of those instances in life that we live and learn. What I want to talk to you about though is:

 Who are you dating? Why are you dating? And what do you expect to get out of it?

I know lots of Christian women tell you to keep your eye out for "the one" and "don't date someone unless you consider marrying them". And while those are good points, I think sometimes we confuse the meaning of "the one". I don't think God chooses one guy and intertwines your paths so that you absolutely positively end up with each other. I think God knows the one you are going to choose to spend your life with. There's a difference and therefore I don't think you need to be focused on "the one". I think you need to decide now what kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think you should pray for God to send you a man like that and then through your High School, college and young adult life seek out men that have the qualities you have been praying for.

I am thankful for the guys that impacted my life through dating because each one made me into the person I am today. That boy that dumped me at the pool became one of my closest friends in life and taught me how to love a friend. There isn't a memory in High School that doesn't have him in it and for that I am thankful! To the boy that hid our relationship,  that took advantage of my liking him so much and that treated me unkind unless he wanted something. He taught me that I am worth more than he said I was. I learned that liking someone can make you a little crazy sometimes and that I want to make sure my daughter doesn't do the same. To the first boy I ever loved, the one that promised me the world and then took it out from under me by having other girlfriends over a year of our year and a half relationship, I learned God's love. I learned persistence. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't pray to God that he was the one and time after time God told me no. I learned the value of unanswered prayers and that God's plan is always greater than the one we have for ourselves. To the boy that walked into my life after I had decided to give up on guys altogether, he taught me friendship through a dating relationship. He taught me to believe in guys that love the Lord. He taught me that there are those guys out there and that I do deserve a "good guy". He was not "the one", but through him I learned what I was looking for in "the one" which led me to my "one". He was a wonderful friend to Keith and I both and ended up being a groomsman in our wedding and not long after found the love of his life. I am incredibly thankful for him and the role he played in my life and for his precious wife that makes him so happy! They are both still such special friends to us!

If I could tell you anything that I learned from dating it would be this.



 Know your worth. Date and don't rule anyone out. That guy that may not seem your type may be exactly what you are looking for. Decide what you are looking for and then find it. Don't consume yourself with finding "the one". And if there are periods in your life where you aren't dating, take that time to focus on yourself. Focus on your qualities and your worth. Don't allow someone else to determine that for you. God set your worth when he sent his son to die on the cross for you and you don't need to let any guy decide you are less than that.




 Have guy friends. You need them. They are the one's that will look out for you. I am so incredibly thankful for the guy friends I have had in life. My best guy friend in High School and college was my saving grace. For a long time he was the only one that didn't disappoint me. And he was a big football player so he was able to protect me from a lot of those jerks we were talking about earlier. He made me feel worthy. He was the one that told me the truth about the other guys! Guys are much less dramatic than girls! When I was at Magnolia Bible College, being one of the few girls there I had the opportunity to have some incredible guy friends that I love so much! ;)


 Don't compromise your beliefs. If you have to tell a guy no more than once on ANYTHING (not just sex) then you need to walk away. A guy that isn't willing to respect your beliefs isn't worth your time. I don't think you have to ask yourself "would I marry him?", but ask yourself "would I marry someone like him?" If the answer is no then why waste your time? I don't think at 17 you should be consider marrying a specific person, but I think you should consider marrying a type of person.

Don't depend on a guy to make you feel special. This is the most important. I know for me if a guy liked me I felt like I was special and worth something. And that is SO NOT the place we need to be looking for those things. We need to be turning to our heavenly Father to make us feel those things. A guy that makes us feel that way is just icing on the cake. Our heavenly Father is the one that can make us feel like the princess we are because he will always make us feel that way. Even if you do find a guy that makes you feel that way, he will disappoint you. Of course he will because he is human. Humans will disappoint us and we can't expect that they won't. God will never disappoint us. He will always be there for us and do what is best for us. That doesn't mean that there won't be hardships in our life or that your heart won't get broken, but God will mend our heart and will do what's best for us.

I'm sure that your parents are praying for your future husband or wife and I think they should. I am already praying for whomever my children choose to spend their life with. Until then enjoy life's lessons and use them to better yourself. Learn early those that you need to walk away from and those that will enrich your life. They will all teach you something, the question is WHAT WILL IT BE?


Tuesday, October 15, 2013

You are Fearfully and Wonderfully made........










I hear a lot of talk about bullying. Have we ever really stopped and thought about what kind of effect it has on other's self worth? These days you hear talk of cyber bullying, videoing bullying for YouTube, it's all about hurt and humiliation. Let's be honest, kids will be mean sometimes, but bullying has gone to  a whole different level these days.



 
Bullying is seeking out whom we can devour......



I've never watched the movie Mean Girls with Lindsey Lohan, but have heard that it depicts a little bit of what can go on in a bullying relationship. That's what it is. A relationship. A bully looks for a person or people that they can degrade to make themselves feel better. Powerful. They prey on those they know will cower because they themselves are afraid. And bullying can happen at any age. True it is very present in our Jr. high and High schools, but they aren't the only ones. You find children dropping out of school, cutting and even committing suicide because of what they endure when they go to school or are around friends. Now it goes even further though because of the internet. Cyber bullying has become incredibly popular.

So what do we do? How do we know it's happening? What can be done?

First off let's begin teaching our children not to be the bully. Children learn from their parents how to treat other people. When we lived in OK there was a boy that went to school with my oldest. She would come home and say that he bullied her and several other kids at school. Come to find out we were told his mother would tell him to be mean to kids whose parents she didn't like. I don't think she didn't like me, we didn't know each other well and were friendly when we saw each other, but I think this child had been told for several years to be mean to kids his mom had an agenda with that eventually it became easier for him to be mean to lots of kids. We need to make sure that we are teaching our children to love everyone. To treat everyone with kindness and compassion. I know it is very easy for kids to look at someone different whether they be mentally handicap, physically handicap, live an alternative lifestyle or maybe a different ethnicity than we are and kids want to bully them. As parents we need to teach our children that even if someone is different from us, we are to love and cherish them.




How do we spot bullying?

I think it depends on the age. I think bullying begins around upper elementary school. This is when kids are old enough to get that they can feel power. This is around 3rd or 4th grade you begin to see the "Mean" mentality. I do believe that there are children that can develop it earlier, but for the most part I think it starts about this stage. Kids are bullied for the clothes they wear, the car they drive, the life they choose to live, etc.  The bully has little or no control over their own life so they seek out someone that they can control. If they demean someone, call them names and make them feel bad they are in essence controlling someone else's feelings. This is a crucial stage for us to make sure that our children know how much we love them and how much God loves them. We can't protect them from what happens when they are not with us, but we can prepare them for what happens when they are not with us. Does your child understand their worth? Do they know that they are without a doubt the most valuable and miraculous thing you have ever done? Do they know that no matter what you will always love them and be there for them? Do you shower them with kisses and hugs and love each and every day? How often do you tell them about their heavenly Father? What he did for them? How priceless he thinks they are? I believe this is so important because a child that goes into the world knowing that they are a child of God's and that they are priceless will know how to protect themselves from a bully. Children that don't know these things are the one's that will most likely allow the bullying to have a long lasting effect.

In this day and age though bullying doesn't just happen on the playground. I love Facebook. I used to be the facebook queen, but I have withdrawn from facebook quite a bit over the last couple of years, I still like to post pictures and statuses and tag myself places, but not nearly as much as I used to. And I will be honest one of the biggest reasons is because of facebook drama. Have you ever noticed the bullies on Facebook? My daughter keeps asking me when she will be able to have a facebook account and I have told her on many occasions if I have my way not till she is 18 and no longer a child. Let's be honest for a minute. Kids have a hard time with maturity and knowing what to do on the internet. Now obviously you are supposed to be 13 to have a facebook account. If a parent thinks their child is mature enough to handle it at that age then who am I to tell you how to raise your child? I think if you do decide to let them have one at this point it should be closely monitored by you the parent. CLOSELY MONITORED. I believe until a child is 18 you have every right to be ALL UP IN THEIR BUSINESS! Now if a child is not 13 they have NO BUSINESS being on facebook. Sorry, I know it's the popular thing to do, I know we don't like to tell our kids no, but sometimes we have to decide to be the bad guy and say no. 1. Facebook doesn't allow you to set up an account if you tell them you were born after 2001. If a child is not 13 and has a facebook account either they have done it and you don't know about it, you have given your child permission to lie or you lied for them. If your child secretly has a facebook account then you need to be investigating. If you allowed them to lie or you did it for them then what kind of example is this setting for your child? It's ok to lie so that you can do something popular?
 2. the younger a child is exposed to social media and the internet the easier it will be for them to be bullied or see things on the internet they should not be seeing.




I see internet bullies everyday. People will say bad things about other people on their statuses without saying their name. People will say mean things to other people on their wall. I am sorry, but that is bullying. When you say or do something intentionally to make another person feel bad you are bullying. Teenagers AND adults do it. Why would you want to expose your child to that any younger than you have to? And for those that say "I can't control what my teenager does"..... we need to talk. You can control what your teenager does and you should. And if they get out of control then you need to get the control back. And if that means that their uncontrollable ways cause them to loose their computer, their phone, their car, OR their social life then so be it. The only thing your child is entitled to from you is a pair of clean clothes, a toothbrush and 3 square meals a day. Other than that everything else is a luxery. Am I sounding harsh? Well here's the reality folks, this generation is one of entitlement. Whether they are given everything they ask for or they have nothing at all we have taught this generation a sense of entitlement and we need to take it back. And this is why so many stories come out about bullying. Entitlement is about control and control is about power. When we teach our kids to be respectful and compassionate to others we teach them to be upstanding adults.

 
Kids won't tell you when they are being bullied so as parents we have to make sure we know what's going on to protect them. I don't mean stalk them or over protect them, I'm saying know what's going on in their life. Keep them from being bullied in your home and on your computer by knowing what they are doing. Kids, understand that it is your parents responsibility to know where you are and what you are doing because it is their job to make sure you make it through this life. And you are NOT an adult until you are 18 no matter how old you feel. The real world is tough. The real world is not so much fun if you aren't ready for it. So enjoy having your parents protect you, enjoy living in their home by their rules and enjoy being a kid because there will be days when you are older you will wish all that responsibility wasn't on you.

So what are you worthWho determines your worth?



Well I believe we are PRICELESS. God, the creator of the universe and our heavenly Father gave up his son to die on the cross for our sins. Wow, think about it. He knows everything about you, he knows the number of hairs on your head, he knew your name before your parents decided on it. Parents, are you teaching your children their worth? Are you teaching them that no matter what others say or do to them that they are worth more than silver and gold? Kids are you prepared to walk into a lair of a bully and walk away without it affecting your self worth? I am not saying their words won't hurt you or that you won't be frustrated or sad, but will you know that when they say those things it's not really about you, but about them. They want power, control, they want to feel better about themselves. You are just the unlucky one to be in the path of their hunt. And when you walk away will you know that their opinion doesn't matter? Will you decide that in the end no matter what they say or do your heavenly Father thinks you are priceless?

What worth are you putting on yourself?

Monday, September 9, 2013

Social Media Do's and Don'ts

Alright ladies, the last couple of posts have been pretty intense so I figured we would do something a little more fun!

Let's talk about some social media Do's and Don'ts.

1. Enough with the negativity already!!
I understand everyone has a bad day! I know things get tough and we just want someone to feel bad for us, but come on! The rest of social media doesn't want to hear how awful other people are to you, they don't want to know that you have had a tough day or that your boss was mean to you. If you are upset or need to vent call your BFF and let them hear it, but the rest of social media doesn't want to be your therapist! Have you ever noticed when others are down and out your attitude drops? Really, negativity is contagious. I am not saying you can't talk to someone about the bad things that happen in life, I am just saying let social media be a place where you share happy and exciting news. Share good things! Be happy and positive and help others to do the same!


2. Stop being petty!
I actually see this WAY more with adults than I do with teenage girls, but I am going to tell you this ahead of time so you don't do it when you get older! ;) If you are mad at someone, if you get in a fight with someone or don't like someone DON'T put it on facebook. Statuses or posts you put out there to imply your dislike for someone are very juvenile. It makes you look tacky and silly. Grow up and act your age. Stop throwing temper tantrums on social media!




3. Remember people see your pictures so DON'T post anything you will later regret.


It amazes me the pictures people post on the internet. Whether it be a selfie of you in your bedroom half dressed or out with your friends sloppy drunk. The image you portray on social media is the image you will be stuck with. Future employers, future mother in law, and other important people may get the wrong idea of you if they feel your pictures are inappropriate! Remember you are a lady and to come across as such, you want others to think highly of you! I get really tired of hearing people say we need to stop making young women feel bad for dressing inappropriately or portraying themselves in a negative way. Young ladies I WILL HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS! You need to be aware of how you are portraying yourself, you need to be aware that you are responsible for your actions and you need to be aware of how to be that Christian lady God expects you to be. And that Christian lady is not one that takes a high selfie of herself so that her cleavage is staring the camera lens in the face. Take some responsibility!!! Obviously I think boys should abide by these same rules as well, but let's be honest. When was the last time you saw a guy post a picture of him in his boxers, poking out his rear end with a pouty lip??? :) Think about it!

4. Please DON'T proclaim your Christianity and then 2 hours later let the profanity train run through your page!
If you are going to have a filthy mouth, it doesn't look very convincing when you post a scripture on the next line. Most people would look at that and think it's hypocritical. As in all areas of our life, we need to portray Christ all the time, not just when it's convenient. Decide now that if you want to have a Christ like attitude you aren't going to post inappropriate pictures or use foul language, but positive and wholesome things.

1. DO post statuses that show gratitude, happiness and joy!
Corny right? Not really! I once heard someone say "I hope your life is one day as wonderful as you make it sound on facebook." I really thought this was a silly saying because they were sarcastically implying that people play up their life on social media which may be true, but I have to say I love seeing positive and happy attitudes on facebook.  I love to hear what people are thankful for and that they are enjoying life. I think it is negative unhappy people that get irritated with positive statuses because they are unhappy with their life. Does that mean constantly bragging on yourself? No, does that mean when there is a big accomplishment or even a small accomplishment posting it so others can pat you on the back? Absolutely! Your life is what you make it so make it positive!!!


2. DO make others feel special!
I love calling people out on facebook! I love to make others feel special by letting everyone know how wonderful they are! I think we all like that!

3. DO share inspiring and positive posts.
I love the share button. I love that there are things my friends see on their friends pages and that they can share with me. Otherwise I may have never seen that wonderful information! Share things that will uplift and inspire others so that you in turn can be uplifted and inspired!

4. DO shine your light so that others may see it.
Social media can be an extremely powerful tool. Others see what you like, they see what you post and they see what you are reading. Make sure that the things that you are doing on facebook are things that you won't ever be ashamed of. Make the best of your time while using it!



Sunday, September 1, 2013

For the Moms and Dads out there.......







Where are your priorities? Think about it for a second. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and jot them down 1-10. Obviously for most people or Christians at least they would probably put God as #1. That's who our first priority should be right? Then  most people would probably put their family. Under that might be work, sports, exercising, some sort of hobby you enjoy doing, or even school. Now that you have them written down in front of you I want you to stop and examine it. Are you looking at it and really examining it? Now I want you to think about your life and really consider whether or not these are your priorities. It's easy to write them down, its even easy to talk about them, but are we living them?

We are getting ready to head into our revival week next week at church and our minister has really been preaching about where we put God and church in our life. And I pray that our congregation has been really listening and taking to heart what he has been saying. I have definitely gotten several things out of it. I wonder though if people really realize the priorities in their head aren't usually the priorities in their life.

Earlier I said it was the obvious answer that Christians would put God as their #1 priority. God tells us he should be our #1. He tells us we should love him and put him above all things. This was a hard concept for me for a REALLY long time. I mean until about a year ago, I didn't get this concept. I am a very family oriented person and it was really hard for me to imagine being able to love anyone more than I love my husband, or my children, or my parents, or my nieces and nephew. I just couldn't comprehend it. Yet, God commands us to love him first.

Mark 12:30 - And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your power; this is the first commandment.

We are commanded to love God with EVERYTHING before anything else.

Does your life reflect that?

Growing up in my family there were very few things that came before sports. My dad taught us unless we were dying, we went to every practice and every game and we gave 100%. The only thing I can think of that would have taken priority over sports is God. Every time the doors were open at church my family was there. Every time there was something going on at church whether it was a youth event or a revival or a potluck we were there. No questions asked. And as important as sports were to our family, it was never questioned that God was of higher importance. I love my Daddy, I am and always have been a Daddy's girl. And I can tell you that you can't get much closer to a perfect God fearing and loving man than my Daddy. You will never hear anyone say anything bad about him. You will never hear him say anything bad about anyone else. He is the most honest and faithful man. As I say that you should know that my Daddy was in a career for 13 years where he could not go to church on Sunday mornings because as a professional football player he was in team meetings and getting ready for games. He always made sure that in some way or another he had his time with God before he focused on football. And outside of that we were always involved in church activities. My Dad made sure we knew God was to be our first priority and after that was up to us.




Does your life revolve around God and let other things sprinkle in? Or does your life revolve around other things and let God sprinkle in? Is God a necessity or a convenience?

I will tell you what I have seen over the last 10 years of working with churches and youth groups. A lot of Christians lives revolve around other things and let God sprinkle in. We get very busy with a lot of different things. Sports, work, kids programs, dance, after school activities and we feel committed to those things. We allow all of these other things to take priority over God whether its missing church for a game or a practice, missing an important church event because of a meeting or other obligation and we find time for God when we don't have all these other things going on.

What message are we sending our children?

What are we telling our children when we skip church because we stayed out at an event too late Saturday night and don't want to get up?
What are we telling our children when we blow off a potluck or a revival because we have too many practices?
What are we telling our children when we don't go to services on a Sunday or Wednesday night because it will stress us out getting home so late on a school night?
What are we telling our children when we show up for worship service, but not for Sunday school class?
What are we telling our children when we find time for everything BUT God?


We are telling them it's ok to make God a convenience. We are saying that it's up to us and our schedule, not God and his. Parents, we have got to realize we are responsible for our children's souls. We are responsible for what they are learning now so that they take it into adulthood with them and pass it on to our grandchildren and our great- grandchildren. We are laying the foundation now in our children to become strong Christian men and women. And the only way that we can teach them that is by showing them that God is the priority in our life. We need to begin to make changes in our life to make sure that God is the center and we make time for everything else. We need to make sure our children know what is important and that we make sure they know God comes above ALL else.

Decide now that you want to make God the center of your family and if you have time for those other things then GREAT! Right now our children only have a couple of things that they are involved in and so far we haven't had to make that decision of this or that, but when the day comes we have already decided our children will know that God comes first. Their coaches will know that God comes first. Their dance teachers, extra curricular activity supervisors and anyone else that does things with our kids will know that God comes first. And if that means missing a practice, a game or whatever in the end my children's relationship with God and their salvation is WAY more important than any skill or trophy they will get here on earth.  Start living by the priority list in your head and not the one in your datebook.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Let's talk about Sex..... Part 2







So in part 1 we talked about not having sex before marriage. In part 2 we are going to talk about what happens if we have already chosen to have sex before marriage. Can we be forgiven? Can we start over? Can we still be the person God wants us to be? Yes. Yes. Yes.
I always believe that a person can not teach what they do not know. Therefore I will tell you another story. Remember how I told you about my husband and how he saved himself for his wife even though he was never taught the importance of doing it because it was what God asked of us?

A week after we started dating I knew I was going to marry him. I knew with every fiber of my being and I also knew that if I was going to marry him I needed him to know everything about me. Even the bad. I remember calling him at 10:30 one night and telling him that I was driving the 30 miles to his house because I needed to talk to him. I remember the look on his face as he opened the door to this crazy girl that he had only been dating a week. I remember sitting on the couch in his living room and being scared to death that when he heard what I had to say that he would not want to be with me. I felt ashamed. I felt fear. I felt very lonely. We sat down and I looked at him. The first thing I told him was that I was going to marry him. I told him I knew from our first date that I would and now I needed him to know! I went on to tell him that I needed him to know something before we went any further because this could be a game changer and I couldn't bear to fall anymore in love with him if this made a difference. "I am not a virgin" I finally said as I cringed thinking I had just ruined it. That this amazing man would not want me because I had not saved myself for him. The next thing that came out of his mouth sealed the deal for me that I would marry him. He said "Have you had sex with someone this week? If not then it doesn't matter." I cried. I cried that big ugly cry.










So now that I have shared that story I will share my story.
I remember it being so important to me to wait. There were several opportunities that I could have given in and chose not to for reasons I explained in part 1. Yet, as humans, sometimes we give in when we feel we can fight the battle no more. For my own personal reasons I won't go into detail, but I do want you to know that I did have sex before I was married. 1 time. It was awful. I remember as soon as it was over, crying (the big ugly cry) because for so long I had told myself I would wait. Sometimes though the devil can use others to dig at us in areas that we feel strongest in and we cave. I take full responsibility in it. No one forced me. No one made me do it. I allowed him to convince me it was what I wanted and as soon as it was over I felt a guilt like I had never felt. At first I was sad. I cried for hours. Then the sadness turned to anger. I became angry at myself for allowing it to happen and I became angry with him for pressuring me. It wasn't sexy. It wasn't beautiful. It was awkward and painful. For months after I felt guilty. I felt dirty. I felt ashamed. I do believe however that God used that sin for good. It helped me to grow closer to God. I clinged to him because I knew that even when men disappoint you, God does not. I began to pray for forgiveness from God and from myself. I knew it would be easy for God to forgive me and I also knew it would be incredibly hard for me to forgive myself.  You see I think that is what is missing from a lot of youth these days. That desire to want to please God. Think about the person in the world you most want to please. Why is that not God? Isn't he the one we should strive to please? Don't you think if we lived in a world where everyone felt guilty when they sinned and strived to better please God we would live in a much better world?

I want you to know how hard it is for me to share that story. I knew when I started this blog I wanted to use it as a teaching tool and to help youth of today to strive to live more Christian lives. I also know that we make mistakes as humans and just like I think it is important that my children know I make mistakes and am not perfect, my youth group and other kids I teach need to know that I am not perfect. I've made mistakes just like your youth minister and parents. And we've learned from these mistakes and God uses us to try and help you not make the mistakes we made. Let's say though that you have already made this mistake. Where do you go from here?

First of all know God forgives you. He forgave you the very first time you asked for forgiveness.
Second of all you need to forgive yourself. This is the harder part. We tend to be the hardest on ourselves. You have to do it though. You will never learn to love others and forgive others if you don't first love and forgive yourself.
Third you need to strive to stay away from opportunities that will make it happen again. God is very clear on how he feels about sex. He believes it is only in the relationship of marriage. Not 2 people on a date, not 2 people dating, not 2 people living together, not 2 people who are married in the eyes of the state after living together for 7 years, not 3 or 4 or 8 or 12 people that decide they can't control themselves and need to have some fun. No matter how you justify it in your mind sex outside of marriage is wrong according to God and according to the Bible and if you are a Christian you need to be following those rules.

Think about it. Self control is connected to words like:
Self discipline
balance
constraint
stability





The opposite of self control is words like:
instability
wild
disoriented
unstable

Which list do you want to associate yourself with? You are not an animal. You are not naturally out of control. We are naturally programmed to want to please and honor God. It's in all of us because we were formed in his image. When we go against his word we are going against what is natural. Sin is not natural. Sin is a learned behavior. We live in a world that teaches us to give in to the desires of the flesh, but that's where self control comes in. Will we make mistakes? Absolutely. Can we be forgiven? Absolutely. We have to make sure though that we are working at making strides to be better. I heard a quote the other day that I loved. "The only person we need to try and be better than is the person we were yesterday."

When we make mistakes we repent and move on to do better. No matter if we've had sex once outside of marriage or if we have been in a relationship for 6 years having sex with the same person. It's still wrong. What are you doing to make yourself more of a child of God? Are you striving to be your best or are you giving in to the desires of the flesh? I pray that God will touch each heart of every person reading this that you will strive to be the best child of God that you can be and not sell yourself short. You are capable of having self control. You are capable of waiting. You are capable of being the person God wants you to be.
God Bless.



Saturday, August 24, 2013

Let's talk about Sex...... part 1

 



Are you freaking out yet? Are you dying to know what this blog is about seeing the title?????
Well it's exactly what the title says. We are going to talk about sex. As I was trying to figure out what to do my next blog on I came across 8 different posts/articles in 24 hours that had to do with America and our tolerance with teen/unmarried sex. We are now being presented with articles on facebook and other social media that encourage us to be open to the idea of bringing our son or daughters date over for dinner with the family before allowing them to go up into the bedroom to have sex. Or we should be more like the Danish who have always been very forward thinking about sex in allowing their children to have their boyfriend or girlfriend over to spend the night so that they can have sex in a comfortable bed instead of "stuffy" Americans making their children hide and do it in the back of a car. Just a minute.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully parents are talking to their kids at a younger age about sex because honestly kids are so much younger learning about sex these days. I don't really remember my parents sitting me down and having a sex talk with me. I really don't remember ever talking to my parents about sex. I do however remember knowing that it was important that I wait until I was married because that was what God expected of me. It's ok to roll your eyes, because obviously that is about as close to the Christian answer as you can get, but it's the truth. It wasn't fear of getting pregnant or getting a disease, it wasn't disappointing my parents or getting my heart broken. It was simply that is what God told us to do.
 





I have already been talking to my 9 year old about sex. I had not planned on going into MAJOR detail until about 6 months ago when she came home from a friends house and said that her friend was doing things with her Barbie and Ken and that she wasn't sure what was going on. Her friend was a year older than she was, but I was shocked at the things that she told Anna Lois. She told her "Boys go crazy when girls take their clothes off slowly" among other things. That brought about a whole slew of questions I wasn't quite ready to answer, but was able to stumble through.  I have been telling her for a long time that sex is for a husband and wife that are MARRIED. I tell her that God tells us not to have sex unless we are MARRIED. I tell her that sex is a great thing for 2 people that are MARRIED. You see I don't want to be one of those parents that  tells my child that sex is bad or that you are going to hell if you have sex out of marriage. I want them to understand the importance of waiting because it is what God expects of us. And what gets under my skin is that we live in a world that thinks we are incapable of controlling ourselves and think it's unfair to ask us to only "be" with 1 person our entire lives. Like God told us to.

We are taught to have self control in LOTS of areas of our lives. If we don't control our eating we will get fat. If we don't control our desire of having more than we can afford we can go into debt or even go as far as becoming a thief. If we don't control our mouth we can say things we shouldn't say. If we don't control our anger we can hurt others. As parents we teach our children these things so that they don't end up in the hospital or in prison. Why if we expect our children to have control in these areas do we not think we can teach them control sexually? Why as a teenager can you control your eating so you can fit in that dress, or your mouth so you don't get into a fight, but can't control your sexual desires? Really... think about it. Now obviously society says that since I am a woman that I can't possibly understand how hard it is for a male to control himself because woman aren't as sexual as men. But just in case I have a boy or 2 reading this OR for girls to understand that boys can control themselves no matter what they may say let me tell you a story.



A young man grew up in home where he wasn't taken to church on a regular basis. The family went to church on Christmas and Easter and that was about it. He grew up in a home where his parents didn't talk about purity or waiting. When he graduated from High School he went into the army and was exposed to lots of drinking and women. When he got out of the army he dated some women as he attended college. On May 31st, 2003 he married his college sweetheart at the age of 24 and married her as a virgin. This man that had no reason to save himself. A man that wasn't brought up in a church or home that taught him the importance of saving himself for his wife because that is what God expected of him. He had no reason. Yet, he did. He saved himself for his wife. He had self control for 24 years and 54 days. I am extremely blessed because that man is my husband.  I tell you that story because I don't believe it's in our nature to have several sexual partners or that we can't control ourselves because my husband who was never taught sex was wrong before marriage..... WAITED.

So I decided to look up the definition of Sexual Immorality. Are you ready?
"The evil ascribed to sexual acts that violate social conventions."
Well if we are going on social conventions we are in big trouble because our society has no moral values when it comes to sex. Why don't we see what God has to say about it?

Galatians 5:16-
16So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
17For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. Or you do not do what you want.
18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
 
1 Corinthians 6:18 - 
Don't be immoral in matters of sex. That is a sin against your own body in a way that no other sin is.
 
I Corinthians 7:1
Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

 

Paul encourages us not to marry because he wants us to focus on our relationship with God, but then he also gives us God's permission that if we can't control our sexual desires then we should marry so that we may honor God in the act. God blesses marriages and blesses the need in a man and woman who express themselves sexually as a married couple.

You may think I am old school or not up with the times, but the truth is that when you add sex outside of marriage into your life you are adding a whole mess of problems. Potential STD's, diseases, pregnancy or pregnancy scares, hurt, confusion, and most of all disobedience of God. I am not saying sex is bad. I am not saying it is evil. I am saying it is a gift from God that was given to a husband and wife and what greater gift to give your future husband or wife than to be able to tell them "I had self control and respect for you enough to wait for you."

I am going to bring this part 1 to a conclusion.  I will do a part 2 to this series because next we need to talk about what happens if we have already made the decision to have sex outside of marriage. What next?


 

 
 
 





Thursday, August 22, 2013

I'm back......

 


So it's been a while since I posted. Here's why.
I have been spending a lot of time in prayer and thought over what I want this blog to accomplish. Over the last 6 weeks there have been several negative attacks on my "Conservative" views and each time I came to blog I had to stop and erase everything I was saying because I will not use this as a venting post or to tear others down. That's not the purpose. The purpose is to get young girls and even women to start thinking on a more biblical view instead of being persuaded by the worlds view. So each time I went to blog and then erased I would have to go back to praying and hope that God would put in my heart the desire to speak the truth and to speak it in love.
I think we are there.





So here's the deal. I am not the smartest biblical scholar you will ever meet. I have so much more to learn, but I have 32 years of Christian knowledge and experience under my belt and I have an unbelievably strong desire to share my mistakes and concerns with Christian girls and women so that hopefully we can ban together and go against the worlds way of living. However I do not want to use this blog as a way for me to vent my STRONG dislike for all of the worlds lies, manipulation and dirty tactics it is using to push God further and further away from our lives. I don't want to use it as a platform to make anyone feel like they are a bad person or that they are getting in trouble. I want to use it as a tool to hopefully teach, encourage and show that being a Christian woman is not boring. I feel like we are in a battle for our souls and for our children's souls. We are fighting the most evil most manipulative competitor. The good news is we are fighting a battle in a war we have already won. As Christians even though we have already won, we are still required to fight for others and once we are to the point that we have what we need to get to heaven then it is time to start fighting for others. That's where I am. I am ready to fight to the end for others to realize what the devil is doing to our world and to get as many people as I can to go to heaven. It's about saving souls.






I think that was my intention and my hope when I first started this blog, but I tell you Satan has sent some of his BEST warriors at me since I started. See I have reached a point that I will not argue with people that have a different opinion as I do, there's not point. Once someone has made up their mind that they are right it's no use, but I will most definitely stand up for what I know is right and I want others to know what I think is right. I don't think as Christians we ever get fully prepared for what the devil is going to throw at us when we decide to stand up for what is right, and sometimes we have to step back and let God fight the battle for us because we cant. There were a couple of times I had to do that over the last 6 weeks. People will say more hurtful things and do more hurtful things to you when you stand up for what is right. You may even have other Christians tell you that you don't need to be as open with your opinions so that you don't upset anyone. Here's what I say. Jesus didn't nag. Jesus didn't go looking for fights. He didn't go around telling everyone they were going to hell because they didn't believe like he did. Jesus spoke the truth in love. Jesus stood up for what he knew was right and called people out on it. He didn't cower away and hide so that no one ever called him names or got upset with him. I think we need to stick with what Jesus did, he's a pretty good role model.




So I'm back! I have regrouped and remembered why it was I started this blog in the first place. For those that don't like my "Conservative" views feel free not to read what I write. This page isn't for you. I am not looking for a fight. For the rest I just want make a difference. There isn't much more reasoning behind this except for that.
Have a great day and see ya soon!!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Not being the judgemental Christian........


So here's the deal. Christians have always in one way or another gotten a bad wrap. Mainly because there are those few that think they are the only ones going to heaven, or tell you all the bad things you are doing are sending you on a one way flight to hell or even that look they give when you walk up to them. I know I know, I have heard it all and seen even more. After 10 years of working in churches I will be the first to stand up and say "Yes there are some judgemental Christians." In saying that I think we need to step back as a society and look at our dictionary. In todays world we are so quick not to want to step on any toes or call anyone out that when a Christian does this society says "Who are you to judge?" Well I have had enough of the "judgemental" name calling and finger pointing. I am here to give you girls a lesson on the difference in being judgemental and sharing the gospel.
It's quite simple actually although society doesn't really see a difference. I feel like I have gotten pretty good at telling the difference from being not only in the church my whole life, but being in ministry. God gave us the duty as Chrisitians to "Go into the world and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you."(Matthew 28:19-20)  God expects us to tell the world what his word says and to make sure that everyone we come in contact with knows what he says. Now at this moment our country is trying it's hardest to make sure Christians don't do that. They say we are "pushing our faith and religion". We definitely don't want to be pushy, but we do want to give the opportunity to everyone we come in contact with to hear what the Bible says.
Here's what I've learned. You will know pretty quickly who wants to hear what it says and who doesn't. And you can still have friendships and love those that don't want to hear it. There is a hope that your actions will one day strike a match and they will want what you have. I have dear friends that I don't talk about religion with because they have no desire to hear it. And that's ok. It's everyone's choice what they want in life and I will definitely not push them to where I may never have an influence on them. I hope that people see Christ in me by the way I live.

Back to the difference in sharing God's word and being judgemental. Let's just jump right into one of the hottest topics out there right now and one of the biggest examples of Christians being called judgemental.  Same sex marriage. I won't get into a big long spill of my opinion on this, I am sure I will blog on it soon, but the example still stands. I believe homosexuality is wrong. I believe that because God tells me in the bible it is. There is no way around it no matter how you want to spin it, no matter how you want to look at it God says it's wrong. In Romans 1 we read of the feelings that God felt with those who sinned by homosexuality. And I cringe each time I hear or see someone say "God doesn't feel the same way now because it's the 21st century". My God is the same yesterday, today and forever. Now notice I used a scripture from the New Testament. People will try to tell you that you can't use anything from the Old Testament to defend actions because it went out with the Old Law. While I believe that we should take lessons from both Testaments for "politically correct" reasons I will stick with the New! Now my point with all of this is this. For me it's pretty simple. Obey God's commands. As a Christian it's my responsibility to share his commands with all that I meet so that they have a chance to know the truth. Then it's up to them whether or not they follow it. If they decide not to follow it I will still love them, I will still be friends with them and care about them. That is what Christians should do. Being judegemental would be to tell someone I think they are a sinner, they are going straight to hell for what it is they are doing and tell them how awful of a person I think they are and never speak to them again.

That my friends is judgemental. And we don't have a right to do that. We don't have a right to call people names or to tell them how awful they are. We don't have a right to treat them any differently than you would a brother or sister in Christ. We do however have a right to make sure they know we don't agree with what they are doing and that we will always be there for them.
I have always been the kind of person that ran from confrontation. I literally get sick at the thought of having to deal with someone that may not like me or that has a problem with me. I just want everyone to like me! And I have always been the kind of person that was ok if you don't agree with what I have to say, but normally I just wouldn't say it if I knew it would upset someone. Over the last year I have risen above that. I don't go looking for fights or trying to stir up controversy, but in a world where we are covered in sin I have decided if nothing else people are going to know that I am a Chrisitian, I love God and I want to share his word. And if that offends someone I am not sorry!
I am offended when people say that I am judgemental or that I am not understanding or caring. I would have to strongly disagree. I try really hard to make sure I stay away from judgemental thoughts and that I make sure that no matter how much I disagree with someone that I love them and will always be there for them. I like to say "Don't mistake my compassion for acceptance."
As a Christian you can stand up for what you believe in and not be judgemental. It's a fine line, but with God's help you can do it.

 Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. and then pray some more that God gives you the heart, the courage and the mentality to be able to do it. Once you get the hang of it its easy and you will realize that you will make more of an impact than you ever thought possible.



Tuesday, June 25, 2013

You are not alone.... I am here with you


Good Morning!! It's been a couple of weeks and I apologize! It's been crazy at our house everything from sickness to a ER run, 2 kids at camp and a Daddy that went MIA so things are kind of settling back down and hopefully we can get back into our normal routine!
So I was thinking about this the last couple of weeks due to Keith going to camp last week and Anna Lois and Cale adventuring off to camp this week about how easy it can be to feel lonely! The last couple of weeks I haven't felt lonely, but it wasn't long ago that I did. After we moved to MS and Keith was gone all of the time I was with my kids by myself pretty much all the time. I had family in MS, but we all have our own lives and there wasn't much time for just hanging out. I felt very alone. I didn't have the comfort of close friendships like I had in Oklahoma, I didn't have the feeling of knowing I could go to someone and really open up about how I felt because I was home with my kids all the time by myself it became extremely lonely and frustrating. I remember just laying on my bed crying before Keith would leave for shift and telling him how sad I was. As you know though those 9 months were a pivotal point for me in my spiritual journey. It was because I didn't have anyone else to turn to that I turned to God. It was because I was so lonely and hurting that I turned to God. I began having a friendship with him that normally I would have had with another human being.


Have you ever felt that sense of lonliness? Have you ever felt that need to feel loved and understood? That's what I love about God! Among about a million other things he is always there! Have you ever stopped to think about that? He is always there, no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, he is there! Now obviously this can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on what you are doing, but for the sake of staying on subject this is an incredibly GOOD thing! I know sometimes it's hard to feel him, especially when we are going through a really tough time. I don't know what your tough times are specifically, but I know we all go through them and I know we struggle and we cry and we wonder why God allows us to feel so alone. Here's the thing. God doesn't let us feel alone. WE let us feel alone. We have to come to a point that we understand that no matter what is going on he is there and he will see us through and when we start to half way understand that concept we begin to feel his presense living in us.
What would happen if we stopped feeling sorry for ourselves, if we stopped throwing pity party for ourselves and we began to really focus on allowing God to take up residence in us? What would happen if when we began to feel lonely or depressed we stopped and turned to the one that can make it better? How do we do that? How do we allow him to take complete control over us and live in us? Here's a thought. We give up that control. Now you are talking to the mother of all control freaks. It's always been my motto to do it myself because someone else will mess it up! It's always been in my nature to control things because if I mess it up I can be mad at myself, if you mess it up I can't get mad at you! (another way of being in control!) How do we allow ourselves to give up control and begin to give it back to God?
1. Come to terms with your problem! Isn't that what they do in AA? The first step is acknowledging there is a problem? I had to do that in those 9 months. I had no control over what was going on in my life. I was so busy trying to make it what I wanted it to be that I forgot to include God in it. So when things spun out of control I don't know why I was so surprised. I remember going out in our driveway late one night, looking up in the sky and asking God to take control of my life back. I promised him I was going to stop fighting for it and I was giving it up to him. Whatever he wanted me to do, wherever he wanted me to go I was fine with that just as long as he was in control because I was tired of messing things up! Admit to God that you can't do it without him and then ask for him to take control back.
2. Listen. This is a hard one. We as humans would much rather give our opinion, tell someone what we think and run our mouth than to stop and listen to someone else. Sometimes we have so much chatter going on though we can't hear God. No wonder we think he isn't there. We won't shut up long enough to see if he is saying anything! And sometimes he speaks to us though actions! Those are the coolest things, but we have to be careful not to miss it because if we aren't paying attention we can miss what he is trying to say. Stop talking so much and stop and listen to what he is saying. You might actually get something out of it!
3. Spend intimate time with him. How often do we get mad at God for not being there for us when we need him, but it's been 8 months since we opened our bible or prayed to him? Let's be honest if you have a friendship with someone and you go 6 months without talking to them or coming in contact with them, do you feel that is a strong friendship? God wants us to make just as much as an effort when it comes to our relationship with him. Why are you not praying every single day? We have 24 hours in a day and most of the time it is filled with stuff that doesn't matter. Why isn't time put into the most important relationship you will ever have? We need to make sure that we are giving God the opportunity to fill us with his presence so that we don't feel that loneliness.

Earlier I talked about how last week while Keith was gone I didn't feel that loneliness. I missed him like crazy and with the eventful week it would have been nice if he had been here. I didn't have any family here to help with the kids when I had to go to the ER or once I got home. I do however have an amazing church family that helped when we were in need and I have an amazing heavenly Father that continually reminided me that it was going to be ok. I felt a peace that just made me know that no matter what life throws my way he is there and that he is always going to take care of me. It was because of that I had an incredibly great week and never felt alone!
I pray that as you continue on your spiritual journey that you will seek that intimate relationship with him and you will allow him to be there for you. I pray that you have an amazing week seeking God and that he blesses you more than you deserve!