You are not alone.... I am here with you

Good Morning!! It's been a couple of weeks and I apologize! It's been crazy at our house everything from sickness to a ER run, 2 kids at camp and a Daddy that went MIA so things are kind of settling back down and hopefully we can get back into our normal routine!
So I was thinking about this the last couple of weeks due to Keith going to camp last week and Anna Lois and Cale adventuring off to camp this week about how easy it can be to feel lonely! The last couple of weeks I haven't felt lonely, but it wasn't long ago that I did. After we moved to MS and Keith was gone all of the time I was with my kids by myself pretty much all the time. I had family in MS, but we all have our own lives and there wasn't much time for just hanging out. I felt very alone. I didn't have the comfort of close friendships like I had in Oklahoma, I didn't have the feeling of knowing I could go to someone and really open up about how I felt because I was home with my kids all the time by myself it became extremely lonely and frustrating. I remember just laying on my bed crying before Keith would leave for shift and telling him how sad I was. As you know though those 9 months were a pivotal point for me in my spiritual journey. It was because I didn't have anyone else to turn to that I turned to God. It was because I was so lonely and hurting that I turned to God. I began having a friendship with him that normally I would have had with another human being.


Have you ever felt that sense of lonliness? Have you ever felt that need to feel loved and understood? That's what I love about God! Among about a million other things he is always there! Have you ever stopped to think about that? He is always there, no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, he is there! Now obviously this can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on what you are doing, but for the sake of staying on subject this is an incredibly GOOD thing! I know sometimes it's hard to feel him, especially when we are going through a really tough time. I don't know what your tough times are specifically, but I know we all go through them and I know we struggle and we cry and we wonder why God allows us to feel so alone. Here's the thing. God doesn't let us feel alone. WE let us feel alone. We have to come to a point that we understand that no matter what is going on he is there and he will see us through and when we start to half way understand that concept we begin to feel his presense living in us.
What would happen if we stopped feeling sorry for ourselves, if we stopped throwing pity party for ourselves and we began to really focus on allowing God to take up residence in us? What would happen if when we began to feel lonely or depressed we stopped and turned to the one that can make it better? How do we do that? How do we allow him to take complete control over us and live in us? Here's a thought. We give up that control. Now you are talking to the mother of all control freaks. It's always been my motto to do it myself because someone else will mess it up! It's always been in my nature to control things because if I mess it up I can be mad at myself, if you mess it up I can't get mad at you! (another way of being in control!) How do we allow ourselves to give up control and begin to give it back to God?
1. Come to terms with your problem! Isn't that what they do in AA? The first step is acknowledging there is a problem? I had to do that in those 9 months. I had no control over what was going on in my life. I was so busy trying to make it what I wanted it to be that I forgot to include God in it. So when things spun out of control I don't know why I was so surprised. I remember going out in our driveway late one night, looking up in the sky and asking God to take control of my life back. I promised him I was going to stop fighting for it and I was giving it up to him. Whatever he wanted me to do, wherever he wanted me to go I was fine with that just as long as he was in control because I was tired of messing things up! Admit to God that you can't do it without him and then ask for him to take control back.
2. Listen. This is a hard one. We as humans would much rather give our opinion, tell someone what we think and run our mouth than to stop and listen to someone else. Sometimes we have so much chatter going on though we can't hear God. No wonder we think he isn't there. We won't shut up long enough to see if he is saying anything! And sometimes he speaks to us though actions! Those are the coolest things, but we have to be careful not to miss it because if we aren't paying attention we can miss what he is trying to say. Stop talking so much and stop and listen to what he is saying. You might actually get something out of it!
3. Spend intimate time with him. How often do we get mad at God for not being there for us when we need him, but it's been 8 months since we opened our bible or prayed to him? Let's be honest if you have a friendship with someone and you go 6 months without talking to them or coming in contact with them, do you feel that is a strong friendship? God wants us to make just as much as an effort when it comes to our relationship with him. Why are you not praying every single day? We have 24 hours in a day and most of the time it is filled with stuff that doesn't matter. Why isn't time put into the most important relationship you will ever have? We need to make sure that we are giving God the opportunity to fill us with his presence so that we don't feel that loneliness.

Earlier I talked about how last week while Keith was gone I didn't feel that loneliness. I missed him like crazy and with the eventful week it would have been nice if he had been here. I didn't have any family here to help with the kids when I had to go to the ER or once I got home. I do however have an amazing church family that helped when we were in need and I have an amazing heavenly Father that continually reminided me that it was going to be ok. I felt a peace that just made me know that no matter what life throws my way he is there and that he is always going to take care of me. It was because of that I had an incredibly great week and never felt alone!
I pray that as you continue on your spiritual journey that you will seek that intimate relationship with him and you will allow him to be there for you. I pray that you have an amazing week seeking God and that he blesses you more than you deserve!

Bra straps and Booty shorts....

So girls, lets get real. These days less is more. Especially with the weather heating up for summer girls everywhere are breaking out the bra straps and booty shorts. Since when was it a fashion trend to show your bra??? Well obviously it has been for a while now. With all the sexy lingerie Victoria Secret puts out it seems a waste for you to be the only one to see it so it only makes sense to find shirts that will show them right?????! Everywhere you turn whether you are at the mall, a ballgame or even CHURCH it's ok to wear a shirt that is obviously worn to show your bra straps. Here's the thing though. Is it ultimately wrong if we show our bra straps or wear the short shorts or the short dresses? They are just pieces of clothing right?!?!
What's your motivation?  What's the motivation behind showing the bra strap or too much leg or too much boob?!?! Let's be honest.  The motivation behind it is to draw attention to ourselves. The problem is the attention we call to ourselves when we wear the really tight low cut shirt or dress, or the really short shorts or the shorts with the writing across the rear end is the wrong kind of attention. We are calling focus to ourselves instead of calling focus to God. Have you ever thought about the fact that when you dress in an immodest way you are causing others to sin? And not only that, but you are causing yourself to sin as well.

Now of course it would be really easy to say "It's not my fault what they think about when they see me, I could have on overalls and a long sleeve t-shirt and they would still think those things about me." And you could be right. We've all heard women see with their heart and men see with their eyes. It's true. Men and boys can look at a woman or girl in stockings, a long dress and a bonnet and think dirty thoughts, but when you are dressing modestly and boys think those dirty thoughts that is on them not YOU! Now before you start freaking out because I said "Stockings, long dress and bonnet" in the same sentence with "modesty" don't think I expect that's what you should wear! :) Christian girls and women can dress modestly and stylish without giving in to the worlds opinion of "cute and trendy". Whatever happened to the old rule "hands to your sides"? When I was in school this was the way you measured if a girls shorts were too short. If her fingertips reached further than the material on the shorts they were too short. I don't believe that's long enough to be honest. I remember a few short girls I went to HS with that could get away with that rule really quickly! :) What's wrong with right above the knee? They aren't uncomfortable! Those shorts aren't made of a different fabric than the booty shorts. What is your motive behind showing more skin?..............

 

 

As Christians God has called us to be respectful not only of our brother's and sister's in Christ, but to ourselves as well. God wants us to present ourselves in a way that we show other's that He lives in us. He also calls us to be aware of our actions not causing others to sin. Can we help it if we have on jeans and a t-shirt and a guy looks our way and thinks dirty thoughts? No, but as long as when you got dressed that morning and didn't think "Will this attract attention from the guys I am around today" and instead you made an effort to dress as modestly as possible their thoughts are on them. They will answer for the things they are thinking.
I Corinthians 6:13 says "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord and the Lord for the body." On to verse 18 "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN; you were bought with a price therefore honor God with your body."
Now this verse can cover a whole lot of territory and don't worry in another blog we will talk about the act of sexual immorality, but this blog can help prevent some of that! When we as women (whether we are married or not) dress in a way that causes men to think ungodly thoughts about us we are causing them to sin. It's on us. There's no 2 ways around it girls. I know fashion trends are cute and fun, but most of the fashion trends these days are designed with one thing in mind. How sexy can I look? And when that is the thought that crosses your mind when you put on that dress or shorts or shirt or bathing suit then there is something wrong.

 

 

Oh we came so close! We almost got through the entire blog without talking about swimsuits!!!!! Sorry about your luck, but it's the last point. I'm just going to put it out there girls... you aren't going to like it in fact a lot of people may get really upset at what I am about to say, but here it goes.

There is no reason ANY Christian should wear a bikini.

Wait! What??? How did that get there? A picture of me. At the beach. In a 2 piece.
I actually did that on purpose! You can definitely call me a hypocrite or whatever you would like. That's ok. I can take it! Let me explain why I put this picture on here. Because my motivation behind wearing this swimsuit was NOT to glorify God. Did you catch that? Didn't even come close. My motivation behind wearing this 2 piece swimsuit in the summer of 2010 was because I had lost 75 lbs the prior 8 months. I worked my tail off. I ate right, I was at the gym everyday and I was proud of myself for losing the weight. So to celebrate I wanted to make myself feel better and have people look at me. Did you catch that? I wanted people to look at me. That was my motivation. Could I have worn a tankini or a 1 piece that covered more of my body and still been proud of what I had accomplished? OF COURSE! And I would have done it in a way that I was glorifying God. See girls it shouldn't be other people's approval that we need. It's taken me a good 32 years to learn that. I'll be honest it wasn't until 6 months ago after doing some major biblical study and talking to a Christian counselor about my issues with pleasing others I finally learned it doesn't matter what ANYONE else thinks. Only what God thinks. His opinion is the only one that matters. Not your momma's, not your sister's and not your best friend. Do we like to have the approval of all of those people and more? Sure. It's nice to know that other's approve of us and think we are smart and beautiful. They aren't the one's that matter. In the end it's only His opinion that truly matters. And I would have dodged a lot of stress, a lot of heart ache and a whole lot of nights/days in tears had I learned that sooner. Our purpose in life is to glorify Him.  Our purpose in life is to make Him happy. And when we dress to please other's we are going against Him.

As Christian women/girls whether we are entering the point of dating, whether we have been dating for years and years or whether we are married the rule still applies to all of us. When we dress to call attention to ourselves we are going against God. God wants us to feel good about ourselves, He wants us to be happy with how we look, and He wants us to dress so that others may see HIM in us. When we take all of those things into consideration we will look GORGEOUS no matter what we are wearing because our heavenly Father will tell us so. As His daughters we deserve to know that the One on High is smiling down at what we are wearing and that He calls us beautiful. So next time you go to get dressed whether you are 12, 22, 32, 42 or older make sure you are wearing clothes that your heavenly Father will approve of not what will call the most attention to you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keith and I celebrated 10 years of marriage on Friday!! It was a great day and we had a wonderful day as a family and then a much needed date night thanks to some wonderful friends who kept the kids! It got me to thinking about marriage and what it means to us as a society.
I love everything about Meadowview, but one of my favorite things we do is between 1st service and class we have a Sunday school opening where we come together as a congregation in the auditorium and sing a song, do the pledge of allegiance and then we celebrate the birthdays and anniversaries of members for the next week! This morning we had 2 couples go up and between them they had 94 years of marriage!!! Wow! I love talking to older couples and hearing how many years they have been married. Why do so many in my generation not make it past the dreaded "7 year itch"? What are we not teaching my generation, my daughter's generation and the generations after that causes us not to be able to make it?
I think the design of marriage is such an incredible design. God knew what He was doing. Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, "it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." God knew we wouldn't be perfect. He knew we would have wants and desires that we couldn't fulfill on our own. He loves us so much He provided a way to do that. After looking at all the creatures God had created He steps back and realizes that none were the right fit for Adam. So God put Adam to sleep and took one of his ribs. From his rib it says God brought her to Adam and goes on to say Genesis 2:24 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." He specifically designed women for men. I don't know about you, but I think it's pretty cool that I was designed specifically for my husband!
So what can I teach my daughter and the girls in my youth group to hopefully prepare them for their journey when they so choose to find the man God has picked out for her?

1. The first thing I can think of is to be a God fearing woman and look for a God fearing spiritual leader. My husband is definitely the spiritual leader in my house and that doesn't offend me in the slightest. Does that mean I let him walk all over me and treat me like I am less than him? No. It means that we discuss (and sometimes argue:) things and he knows my opinion, but in the end God made Keith the head of our household and he is the final say. Is that always easy? Absolutely not. If you were to ask him he would say I think I am right most of the time, but when I take that role of trying to be the head I am going against God and how He designed us. Ephesians 5:22 "Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." There's that word that our generation has taken out of the dictionary and thrown in the garbage. Submit. I don't understand why that word scares so many people. It's almost that if you submit you are making yourself lower than that you are submitting to. And as women in this generation we are told not to let anyone be above us. Submitting is a sign of love and respect. It is not a bad thing. We are called to submit to God. To allow him to be the head of our life and our souls and just like we are called to love and respect God, we are called to love and respect our husband.

2. The second thing I would tell her is to marry a God loving man. When you marry a God loving man you are marrying a wife loving man. Does this mean he will continue to send you roses once a week or remember every birthday or anniversary or never say anything mean to you? No. Sorry girls, but most men are after the chase. They put their best foot forward when they are dating you to catch you and after you get married they've got you! Its in most men's nature! Keith was never a big romantic,but Keith has always been loving. Even when we are fighting and mad at each other. He loves me. I know this because over the last 10 years we have gone through things that most people would throw up their hands and walk away. I know because when I make a mistake he forgives me. I know because when he looks at me I see it in his eyes. My husband loves the Lord and in return the Lord puts the love he needs in his heart for me. A God loving man will not hit you continuously and tell you it's your fault. A God loving man will not seek other women over and over to fulfill the needs he should be getting fulfilled at home. A God loving man will not continuously neglect his family and put his needs before their own leaving them to fend for themselves. A God loving man will not rape his wife or make her do things she doesn't want to do for his own pleasure. A God loving man will respect his wife and do what's best for her and in return make her want to do the same for him. Does that mean that God loving men won't make mistakes? No. Notice I used the word "continuously or over and over." A God loving man may make a mistake, but he will make it better by changing to do God's will.

3. The third thing I will tell her is to make sure her relationship with God is what it should be before she has a relationship with a man. When I got to Magnolia Bible College I had no intentions of finding a husband. I had been in a long relationship with a guy until a couple months after I got there and we broke up.  My second semester there I started dating someone at the Bible College and he was a great guy (our joke was he was a much better friend than boyfriend). He was and still is a great friend to Keith and I (he was even a groomsman in our wedding!), and after we dated for several months and broke up I found myself craving a close relationship with God partly because that guy inspired me in his relationship with God. I had always been so focused on my relationships with boys that I never stopped to examine my most important relationship. I decided that I was going to focus on school and on my relationship with God and really work towards becoming a fulltime missionary. I came to a very hard reality that God may never want me to get married. That he may be sending me out into the mission field and he would be my partner. After several months of praying about that I finally became happy with that thought. I would be fulfilled if God's plan for me was to be single. 3 weeks later Keith asked me out for the first time. He's still pretty bitter about this story, but when he asked me out I told him no. In my mind I couldn't get distracted from the path I felt God was leading me and if I started dating him I felt like I would be. From the time he asked me out, through the summer that I spent in Lithuania I found myself thinking about Keith. I prayed for God to take him out of my mind and let me focus. And the funny thing was I was still focused. That was one of the best and most productive summers I had had in Lithuania, but I found the thought of Keith grew stronger and more often. It wasn't till I got home I realized that maybe God was allowing me to think about Keith because maybe God was giving me Keith. It wasn't until I had the kind of relationship with God that I needed that God gave me something that I had always wanted. My love.

Any marriage that doesn't have God at the foundation will never be the kind of marriage that God designed. God wants to be a part of the process of finding a husband and then he wants to be a part of the process of your life with your husband. These days marriage mentality is whoever you happen to like at the time can become your husband, but when times get tough you throw your hands in the air and say forget it. When we teach our daughters and young women the kind of men to look for (and they are out there) we are setting them up for success. When we allow the world to teach our children about marriage we are setting them up for failure. Take time to make sure you are teaching the young girls and maybe even some older girls the kind of qualities and standards they should have in a husband!