Good Morning!! It's been a couple of weeks and I apologize! It's been crazy at our house everything from sickness to a ER run, 2 kids at camp and a Daddy that went MIA so things are kind of settling back down and hopefully we can get back into our normal routine!
So I was thinking about this the last couple of weeks due to Keith going to camp last week and Anna Lois and Cale adventuring off to camp this week about how easy it can be to feel lonely! The last couple of weeks I haven't felt lonely, but it wasn't long ago that I did. After we moved to MS and Keith was gone all of the time I was with my kids by myself pretty much all the time. I had family in MS, but we all have our own lives and there wasn't much time for just hanging out. I felt very alone. I didn't have the comfort of close friendships like I had in Oklahoma, I didn't have the feeling of knowing I could go to someone and really open up about how I felt because I was home with my kids all the time by myself it became extremely lonely and frustrating. I remember just laying on my bed crying before Keith would leave for shift and telling him how sad I was. As you know though those 9 months were a pivotal point for me in my spiritual journey. It was because I didn't have anyone else to turn to that I turned to God. It was because I was so lonely and hurting that I turned to God. I began having a friendship with him that normally I would have had with another human being.
Have you ever felt that sense of lonliness? Have you ever felt that need to feel loved and understood? That's what I love about God! Among about a million other things he is always there! Have you ever stopped to think about that? He is always there, no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, he is there! Now obviously this can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on what you are doing, but for the sake of staying on subject this is an incredibly GOOD thing! I know sometimes it's hard to feel him, especially when we are going through a really tough time. I don't know what your tough times are specifically, but I know we all go through them and I know we struggle and we cry and we wonder why God allows us to feel so alone. Here's the thing. God doesn't let us feel alone. WE let us feel alone. We have to come to a point that we understand that no matter what is going on he is there and he will see us through and when we start to half way understand that concept we begin to feel his presense living in us.
What would happen if we stopped feeling sorry for ourselves, if we stopped throwing pity party for ourselves and we began to really focus on allowing God to take up residence in us? What would happen if when we began to feel lonely or depressed we stopped and turned to the one that can make it better? How do we do that? How do we allow him to take complete control over us and live in us? Here's a thought. We give up that control. Now you are talking to the mother of all control freaks. It's always been my motto to do it myself because someone else will mess it up! It's always been in my nature to control things because if I mess it up I can be mad at myself, if you mess it up I can't get mad at you! (another way of being in control!) How do we allow ourselves to give up control and begin to give it back to God?
1. Come to terms with your problem! Isn't that what they do in AA? The first step is acknowledging there is a problem? I had to do that in those 9 months. I had no control over what was going on in my life. I was so busy trying to make it what I wanted it to be that I forgot to include God in it. So when things spun out of control I don't know why I was so surprised. I remember going out in our driveway late one night, looking up in the sky and asking God to take control of my life back. I promised him I was going to stop fighting for it and I was giving it up to him. Whatever he wanted me to do, wherever he wanted me to go I was fine with that just as long as he was in control because I was tired of messing things up! Admit to God that you can't do it without him and then ask for him to take control back.
2. Listen. This is a hard one. We as humans would much rather give our opinion, tell someone what we think and run our mouth than to stop and listen to someone else. Sometimes we have so much chatter going on though we can't hear God. No wonder we think he isn't there. We won't shut up long enough to see if he is saying anything! And sometimes he speaks to us though actions! Those are the coolest things, but we have to be careful not to miss it because if we aren't paying attention we can miss what he is trying to say. Stop talking so much and stop and listen to what he is saying. You might actually get something out of it!
3. Spend intimate time with him. How often do we get mad at God for not being there for us when we need him, but it's been 8 months since we opened our bible or prayed to him? Let's be honest if you have a friendship with someone and you go 6 months without talking to them or coming in contact with them, do you feel that is a strong friendship? God wants us to make just as much as an effort when it comes to our relationship with him. Why are you not praying every single day? We have 24 hours in a day and most of the time it is filled with stuff that doesn't matter. Why isn't time put into the most important relationship you will ever have? We need to make sure that we are giving God the opportunity to fill us with his presence so that we don't feel that loneliness.
Earlier I talked about how last week while Keith was gone I didn't feel that loneliness. I missed him like crazy and with the eventful week it would have been nice if he had been here. I didn't have any family here to help with the kids when I had to go to the ER or once I got home. I do however have an amazing church family that helped when we were in need and I have an amazing heavenly Father that continually reminided me that it was going to be ok. I felt a peace that just made me know that no matter what life throws my way he is there and that he is always going to take care of me. It was because of that I had an incredibly great week and never felt alone!
I pray that as you continue on your spiritual journey that you will seek that intimate relationship with him and you will allow him to be there for you. I pray that you have an amazing week seeking God and that he blesses you more than you deserve!
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