Top 5 things you should know about your youth minister...... and his wife!

Top 5 Things you should know about your youth minister.... and his wife!

 

 

1. They aren't as old as you think they are!

Not too long ago one of the guys in our youth group asked me how old I was. I told him 32 and you could have knocked him over with a feather , that's how shocked he was. When I asked him how old he thought I was he said "I don't know like 38 or 39!" Obviously he thought I was older due to my maturity and wisdom!! ;) I think kids automatically assume if you have kids you must be old. They don't think about the fact that you can be cool, hip and mature! The beauty of them not being as old as you think they are is that they haven't forgotten what it's like to be a teenager. I will admit that it's MUCH harder to be a teenager now than it was for us 20 years ago, but for the most part they understand the frustration you are going through with school, parents and friends.They haven't forgotten! So remember that even though they may seem older they aren't old fuddy duddies like you think!

2. They get to be like your parent and your friend.

I think one of the biggest mistakes youth ministers and their wives make is they think they have to choose. Either I have to be like your parents or I have to be like your friend. I can't be both. I think youth ministry is one of the few occasions adults get to be both and SHOULD be both. If youth workers ONLY care about teaching the bible, keeping you in line and being strict they can never bond or win teenagers over. There is a time to be serious, but there are also times that youth workers need to act like teenagers. It's important to know the line between the 2 and the one time in life that you need to be able to walk it and see it clearly. If youth workers only try to be your friend and try to make you like them all the time then they are not doing their job. If you have ever gotten frustrated with your youth minister or his wife THEY ARE DOING THEIR JOB!!! They love you and want you to be on the right path so when they see you out of line or doing something you aren't supposed to then they should say something, but they should say it in a way that you see they care and want what's best for you. I love being in youth ministry because I have a great time joking, playing and laughing with our kids, but I also know that my job is to make sure they are on the path to heaven and I have to make sure that I am setting a good example of what a Christian should be to them.

3. It's about passion and purpose not pay.

Ministry in general is a passion and purpose. Ministry is like teaching. It's not about the money. Most youth workers will never have fancy cars or boats or a HUGE house, but that's ok! My kids have never missed a meal, they've never been without something they needed and never will be. Please know that your youth minister is not there because he is making the big bucks and "putting up with you." Know that he is there because he loves you. He wants the best for you. Other than your parents no one wants to see you get to heaven more than your youth minister. He feels called to work with you, he feels passion for helping you on your spiritual journey and wants the very best for you.

4. They won't always agree with your parents.

Here's a shocker. They won't always agree with your parents!!! They will however, NEVER turn you against what your parents are saying. Here's the thing. As youth workers, parents come to you and the kids come to you. They will both share with you their struggles, SOMETIMES the parents are in the wrong and sometimes the kids are in the wrong. It's just part of life. And sometimes as a 3rd party you can step back, look at both sides and have better clarity of the situation. So if your youth minister or his wife comes to you and shares their opinion of a situation you are going through with your parents know that they don't always have your parents agenda. They have their own opinion and it just might happen that they agree with your parents on this one. If they don't they will try and give you a better way of dealing with the disagreement you are having with your parents. It's not always a war on you as the kid I promise!

5. Other than your parents NO ONE will fight for your salvation like your youth minister will!

Going back to number 3, it's a purpose and a passion. If your youth minister is in it for the right reason there is nothing they won't do to make sure you are on the right path. Even if that means stepping on toes or calling you out. It's the job. The purpose of that youth minister is to guide your youth group down the correct path just like the Minister's job is to guide the church. It won't always be easy, but God never said it would be. There is a love that youth ministers and their wives have for a youth group that I can't explain. It's hard to imagine that you can love kids as much as they do that aren't their own, but they do. I always say the kids in our youth group are "our kids". I would give my life for any one of them, yes every single last one of them! Their salvation means more to me than I can tell you and I will do whatever it takes to get them to be a strong part of the youth group. Just remember as a teenager that your youth minister and his wife are there for you. No matter what you are going through, no matter how bad something is that you have done. You can go to them without judgement or strife and know that their only objective is doing what is best for you. If you are blessed enough to have a youth minister, take advantage of having that person to guide you in any area of your life. I learned growing up that youth ministers can be some of the best friends you will ever have!

New Year.... New Day.... New You.

 

Happy 2014!! I am so excited to see what this year brings for my family, for our church and for THIS ministry! Since starting this blog in June of 2013 I have had over 1500 views from more than 4 countries!! That's a neat thing about this blog site is it tells me how many readers I get a day and where in the world they are reading my blog from! That to me is pretty cool! I have really enjoyed doing this blog and hope that you have enjoyed reading it!

If you live in the Ohio area we would LOVE for you to join us on Feb 7th and 8th for our first Bringing Girls to Christ weekend!! It will be here at the Meadow View Church of Christ in Frazeysburg, OH. For more info please message me so that you can come!

Every year at the stroke of midnight on December 31st, most of us feel a sense of hope. An optimistic glow that this year will be THE year! That usually lasts about 2 weeks before people don't see that 30 lb weight loss they set for themselves or the "cutting out" of all sugar, sweets and processed foods, or even not being able to stop smoking even though they have been smoking for 50 years. So we go back to do what we resolved NOT to do and hope that since we failed this year, next year will be better. Here's a thought though. What if instead of giving ourselves 1 day a year to make the next 12 months perfect that each day when we wake up we start a new day.

I think it's pretty vain of us to say we will NEVER do something or NEVER do it again. When we say that we are setting a very high bar for ourselves and if we ever do what we said we would NEVER do then we feel like we have failed or that we aren't as good as we should have been. As Christians I think we should strive each day not to do the things we don't or shouldn't do.



 

And IF or WHEN we mess up, step back, ask God for forgiveness and then forgive ourselves. When we take it day by day, we don't feel so bad about ourselves when we mess up. And we also don't completely give up. Tomorrow is a new day and thank you God for your mercy and forgiveness.

So how do we work on these things that maybe aren't so good for us? Well the first bit of advice I have is Work on your relationship with God. We hear this over and over and over and over again that when our relationship with God is stronger it is easier to do the right thing. And it's true. When our relationship with God is stronger we listen to our conscience and our eyes are open to more of what is going on around us. We are aware. Set a goal for yourself to spend 10 min each morning or night reading your bible and spend some time praying. Once you have done that for 3 or 4 weeks then add 10 more min of bible reading. 3 or 4 weeks later you may want to add more time. Spend time with your creator. See what he is telling you through his words and then talk to him about it through prayer. If you skip a day it's ok, just pick it back up the next day. Don't make it one of those things like a diet where if you miss a day you just give up and stop. Each day is new and the more you do it the more you will WANT to do it!

Do one thing a day for someone else. Don't do it for anyone else, but that one person. Don't post it on facebook or tell all your friends what you did to get glory for being a good person. Do it and allow God to get the glory. It will amaze you how often you will want to do that when you see God getting the glory.

Examine your friendships and relationships. You know the analogy of the rotten apple in a barrel? Well as humans that is what can happen to us. If there is just one rotten apple in the barrel we can find ourselves becoming rotten. Surround yourselves with good apples. Spend time with people you want to be like. People that are happy, loving and Godly. Then when you find yourself spending more time with the good apples, begin inviting the rotten apples in and be THEIR good influence. I don't like the teaching that we should just hang out with people like us and then stop. No, I think we need to hang out with people that are good influences on us until we are strong enough to become the good influence for someone else.

Find a confidant. As girls/women we can not keep things bottled up inside. We just can't. Find someone you can trust and that you feel comfortable with and let that person be the one you go to about everything. It may be your best friend or an adult that you can trust.



I am very lucky, I go to my best friend about everything. Whether I am struggling with something spiritually, in my marriage, or with other people. I know when I go to her there is no judgement on her part and that she will give me honest advice. Even if it isn't what I want to hear. And she knows the same goes for me. We have a mutual understanding that our love for each other is strong enough that we want what is best for the other, not what makes us feel good. There have been times where she has flat out said "Carlee you are wrong." And I have to step back and examine the situation more because if she says that it's probably true. Now in saying this, my best friend is also my biggest cheerleader and I am hers. Other than Keith she is the first one I want to tell good news to and the first one I tell about crazy things because I know she will be excited for me and she get's my sense of humor!  Find that person that loves you enough to tell you the truth NOT what you want to hear, but is also going to cheer you on in everything you do.



Pray. You have probably noticed a theme in my blog. I believe prayer is the answer for EVERYTHING. Seriously. Normally if someone tells me about a problem they are having the first thing I say is Pray about it. If for no other reason than to get it out of our system. Whether we are anxious, mad, hurt, torn, whatever the emotion there is something calming about telling God about it. Once we tell him about it we need to ask him to handle it. Now this is coming from a very big control freak! Ask anyone that knows me well, I am very involved in EVERYTHING and need to have my hands in anything that I am involved in because I just feel like if I know what's being done then it will get done. This can be a very good trait to have, but it can also be a very bad trait as well. It's still hard for me to give things over to God fully. I have been adamantly working on this for the last couple of years and am getting better. In getting better at letting God have control over things I am slowly seeing improvements in my personal life of giving up some control. Notice I said SLOWLY and SOME. I will probably struggle with this my whole life, but I continually ask God to help me with this. As long as I work on how this trait does good and steer away from how it can be bad I think I will be ok. Continually pray for God to help you give up control. When God is in control of the situation it can't go wrong.

Enjoy 2014. Embrace it and each day strive to be better than you were yesterday. Remember though that each day is a new day and God is a forgiving God. God Bless you in this next year and your relationship with God!

When do you take a stand?

What happens when our authority figures are teaching something we know is not true?????



It's hard because we are always taught to respect authority and be considerate of others. I believe you can respect authority AND stand up for what you believe in! Let's admit it's hard to go against the flow when we believe differently than our peers, but it's WAY harder to go against the flow when we believe differently than our authority figures. None of us want to disappoint or upset someone that has authority over us and we are taught not to disagree with them, but I tell you it's ok to disagree with an authority figure when they are going against something that you know is biblically correct. And sometimes everything turns out ok...... sometimes it doesn't.

I learned this hard lesson when I was in college the second time around for nursing. I was taking a science class and within the first week of the class my professor started teaching evolution. She was very passionate that we all agree and that this was the only possible way the world could have been created. I finally raised my hand during one of the lectures and shared with her why I believed evolution was not the only way the earth could have come about. It must have been a pretty good argument because she was not happy that I had shared my beliefs. The entire semester she took it out on me through my grades. I knew what was going on and I even confronted her about it in the middle of the semester. She denied and said that I just didn't do the assignments or answer the questions on the tests or labs correctly. I compared my answers with several others in class and didn't have anything different. I ended up with a D for the semester in the class. I was so frustrated because I needed a C in that class and she knew that. I had to take the class again the next semester and made sure to take it under a different professor. This professor was not like the first and allowed all of us to freely share our opinions without fear. It was the SAME class, SAME material, SAME lab and I ended that semester with a B. 1 point shy of an A. When I got my final grade I went to the first professor with my grade. I remember walking into her office and saying "I wanted to show you the grade that I got for this class under a different professor. I just needed you to see that I should have gotten that grade in your class because there was nothing different except a chance to share my beliefs freely without persecution. Thank you for allowing me to experience that class with another professor, it was a much more enjoyable experience the second time around." She in turn said to me "I am glad that you were able to take what you learned from my class and better your grade with another shot." I smiled and turned around and walked out.

In the world we live in today we are seeing more and more persecution towards Christians. I would not have said this was so 15 or 20 years ago, but in the last 4-5 years we have seen this more and more. We are seeing Satan take control over situations and testing us to see where we stand. We are called to take a stand for what is right and to obey God's commands. If I had been rude and hateful to her for discriminating against me for being a Christian I don't believe I would have been in the right. We are proving NOTHING as Christians when we are mean and hateful in trying to prove a point. In fact we are doing more harm than good when we hatefully try to stand up for God. A good example of this is the Westboro Baptist church. I am sure you have heard of them. This is the church that travels all over the country. They teach that God kills men and women in combat, he kills children in school shootings, etc because our world is so evil. They are known for the very hateful attitude towards homosexuality. Instead of teaching others the love of God and how to minister with a peaceful attitude they turn others off and actually give Christians a bad name. 

 Yet let me be clear we are called to stand up and do what is right and if that means we respectfully do that to an authority figure I say GO FOR IT! You may fail the class, you may be sent to the principal, you may even get made fun of, but when you stand for what is right in a world that is doing wrong you will receive your reward 10 fold. Christians have been persecuted for standing up for what is right since the beginning. People have died in the name of Christ. We live in a country where we haven't had to fear that, but there are countries all over the world where declaring the name of Christ can get you in big trouble or even killed. And I don't want to scare you, but I see in our future it becoming that way in America.


We are already seeing prayer, Christ and Christianity being taken out of government and public forum. The more this happens the easier it will be for our government to begin persecuting Christians. And let's be honest our government is NOT being run by God fearing men and women. God is NOT the center of our country anymore and eventually it will be a war on Christianity.

So the question is Where is your faith? Where do you stand in your beliefs? Are you willing to stand up for what you believe in even if you get in trouble or get made fun of? If you were in a country where you could be killed for standing up in Christ's name would you stand up? This may seem like some deep stuff and it is, but I think Christians need to ask themselves where they stand. Men, women and teenagers. You are asked to stand up everyday with situations you deal with at school, at work, with your friends, on the weekends, and in class. When your friends make fun of someone else at school and are bullying someone do you stand up for Christ and what is right or do you join in? When you are taking a test and didn't study do you stand up for what is right and do your best or do your eyes wonder over to your neighbors test? When women at work are being mean and hateful to someone else in the workplace do you go out of your way to be kind to them or do you join in with the others and make them feel bad? We are given small battles everyday to stand up as Christians and the more victories we have in these battles will give us the strength in the bigger battles when it is crucial we stand up for what is right in Christ's name.

God tells us to obey authority, to pay our taxes and respect others...... UNLESS those things go against what he tells us in the Bible. And when it comes to those things that are against the Bible God EXPECTS us to stand up for what is right. He commands us to.

I pray that we don't see the extent of persecution of Christians in other countries here in America in my lifetime or in yours, but we need to be prepared that we don't know what the future brings and it could be possible. If it comes to that are we prepared? Will we be strong enough in our faith to stand up for what is right, or give in and allow Satan to convince us to fall?

To all the boys I've loved before.......





Most of you teenagers may not know where my title is coming from, but some of the parents and grandparents do! One of Keith's favorite singers Willie Nelson sang that song "To all the girls I've loved before" which was originally sung by Albert Hammond. It's a song of a man reminiscing about all the women he has loved in his life. I heard it on the radio the other day and it got me to thinking about the guys that I dated in my life before Keith. My history of dating could only be described as "The good, the bad, and the ugly".

 

Growing up there are the different phases girls and guys go through. When we are younger we are "going together". Which I always heard parents say "And where are you going?" I remember my first official boyfriend. It was in 3rd grade, during the summer at the swimming pool. He asked me to "go with him" and I said yes. A couple of weeks later at the pool he sent a friend over to break up with me. I don't think it phased me too much since the only time we ever saw each other was at the pool. Then we grow into the "talking" phase. This hits about 7th grade. Oddly enough the same boy that asked me to "go with him" was the first boy I "talked" to. It lasted a little longer the 2nd time with sitting by each other at lunch, talking on the phone at night and hanging out on Friday nights at the HS football game. I think we "talked" for a couple of months and then we broke up. He later ended up being one of my closest friends through High School. Going into High School we have the "in between" phase. This is a little tricky, it's not as assuring as "going together" or "talking" because High School relationships start with flirting at the locker or hanging out in class. Then you talk on the phone a couple of times and text each other. Then you might hang out with a group of friends for a few weeks and THEN you might have a one on one date. This is where the hard part comes in. When do you become a couple? You never know and really you never talk about it. I think people just hang out until the first person has the nerve to call the other their boy or girlfriend. I know things are a little different today than they were when I was in HS because now you can make it "Facebook" official so that the other person knows! :)  As we get into college the dating phase moves with us, but here again I think it is much more complicated. I went on several dates with a guy when I was a freshman in college. He would come hang out at my apartment and I would go hang out with him and his friends a lot, we talked on the phone all the time, and of course kissed. This went on for about 6 weeks and one night at a concert I bumped into him on a date with someone else. I was crushed, but he told a mutual friend "we were just friends."



I am not going to tell you that you shouldn't date and that you should wait for God to "bring you the one." I think dating can be a wonderful thing. And not necessarily from a romantic perspective. Sure there are A LOT of jerks out there. Let me say it again. There are A LOT of jerks out there, but there are also A LOT of good guys out there. I think dating is one of those instances in life that we live and learn. What I want to talk to you about though is:

 Who are you dating? Why are you dating? And what do you expect to get out of it?

I know lots of Christian women tell you to keep your eye out for "the one" and "don't date someone unless you consider marrying them". And while those are good points, I think sometimes we confuse the meaning of "the one". I don't think God chooses one guy and intertwines your paths so that you absolutely positively end up with each other. I think God knows the one you are going to choose to spend your life with. There's a difference and therefore I don't think you need to be focused on "the one". I think you need to decide now what kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think you should pray for God to send you a man like that and then through your High School, college and young adult life seek out men that have the qualities you have been praying for.

I am thankful for the guys that impacted my life through dating because each one made me into the person I am today. That boy that dumped me at the pool became one of my closest friends in life and taught me how to love a friend. There isn't a memory in High School that doesn't have him in it and for that I am thankful! To the boy that hid our relationship,  that took advantage of my liking him so much and that treated me unkind unless he wanted something. He taught me that I am worth more than he said I was. I learned that liking someone can make you a little crazy sometimes and that I want to make sure my daughter doesn't do the same. To the first boy I ever loved, the one that promised me the world and then took it out from under me by having other girlfriends over a year of our year and a half relationship, I learned God's love. I learned persistence. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't pray to God that he was the one and time after time God told me no. I learned the value of unanswered prayers and that God's plan is always greater than the one we have for ourselves. To the boy that walked into my life after I had decided to give up on guys altogether, he taught me friendship through a dating relationship. He taught me to believe in guys that love the Lord. He taught me that there are those guys out there and that I do deserve a "good guy". He was not "the one", but through him I learned what I was looking for in "the one" which led me to my "one". He was a wonderful friend to Keith and I both and ended up being a groomsman in our wedding and not long after found the love of his life. I am incredibly thankful for him and the role he played in my life and for his precious wife that makes him so happy! They are both still such special friends to us!

If I could tell you anything that I learned from dating it would be this.



 Know your worth. Date and don't rule anyone out. That guy that may not seem your type may be exactly what you are looking for. Decide what you are looking for and then find it. Don't consume yourself with finding "the one". And if there are periods in your life where you aren't dating, take that time to focus on yourself. Focus on your qualities and your worth. Don't allow someone else to determine that for you. God set your worth when he sent his son to die on the cross for you and you don't need to let any guy decide you are less than that.




 Have guy friends. You need them. They are the one's that will look out for you. I am so incredibly thankful for the guy friends I have had in life. My best guy friend in High School and college was my saving grace. For a long time he was the only one that didn't disappoint me. And he was a big football player so he was able to protect me from a lot of those jerks we were talking about earlier. He made me feel worthy. He was the one that told me the truth about the other guys! Guys are much less dramatic than girls! When I was at Magnolia Bible College, being one of the few girls there I had the opportunity to have some incredible guy friends that I love so much! ;)


 Don't compromise your beliefs. If you have to tell a guy no more than once on ANYTHING (not just sex) then you need to walk away. A guy that isn't willing to respect your beliefs isn't worth your time. I don't think you have to ask yourself "would I marry him?", but ask yourself "would I marry someone like him?" If the answer is no then why waste your time? I don't think at 17 you should be consider marrying a specific person, but I think you should consider marrying a type of person.

Don't depend on a guy to make you feel special. This is the most important. I know for me if a guy liked me I felt like I was special and worth something. And that is SO NOT the place we need to be looking for those things. We need to be turning to our heavenly Father to make us feel those things. A guy that makes us feel that way is just icing on the cake. Our heavenly Father is the one that can make us feel like the princess we are because he will always make us feel that way. Even if you do find a guy that makes you feel that way, he will disappoint you. Of course he will because he is human. Humans will disappoint us and we can't expect that they won't. God will never disappoint us. He will always be there for us and do what is best for us. That doesn't mean that there won't be hardships in our life or that your heart won't get broken, but God will mend our heart and will do what's best for us.

I'm sure that your parents are praying for your future husband or wife and I think they should. I am already praying for whomever my children choose to spend their life with. Until then enjoy life's lessons and use them to better yourself. Learn early those that you need to walk away from and those that will enrich your life. They will all teach you something, the question is WHAT WILL IT BE?

You are Fearfully and Wonderfully made........

I hear a lot of talk about bullying. Have we ever really stopped and thought about what kind of effect it has on other's self worth? These days you hear talk of cyber bullying, videoing bullying for YouTube, it's all about hurt and humiliation. Let's be honest, kids will be mean sometimes, but bullying has gone to  a whole different level these days.

 

Bullying is seeking out whom we can devour......



I've never watched the movie Mean Girls with Lindsey Lohan, but have heard that it depicts a little bit of what can go on in a bullying relationship. That's what it is. A relationship. A bully looks for a person or people that they can degrade to make themselves feel better. Powerful. They prey on those they know will cower because they themselves are afraid. And bullying can happen at any age. True it is very present in our Jr. high and High schools, but they aren't the only ones. You find children dropping out of school, cutting and even committing suicide because of what they endure when they go to school or are around friends. Now it goes even further though because of the internet. Cyber bullying has become incredibly popular.

So what do we do? How do we know it's happening? What can be done?

First off let's begin teaching our children not to be the bully. Children learn from their parents how to treat other people. When we lived in OK there was a boy that went to school with my oldest. She would come home and say that he bullied her and several other kids at school. Come to find out we were told his mother would tell him to be mean to kids whose parents she didn't like. I don't think she didn't like me, we didn't know each other well and were friendly when we saw each other, but I think this child had been told for several years to be mean to kids his mom had an agenda with that eventually it became easier for him to be mean to lots of kids. We need to make sure that we are teaching our children to love everyone. To treat everyone with kindness and compassion. I know it is very easy for kids to look at someone different whether they be mentally handicap, physically handicap, live an alternative lifestyle or maybe a different ethnicity than we are and kids want to bully them. As parents we need to teach our children that even if someone is different from us, we are to love and cherish them.



How do we spot bullying?

I think it depends on the age. I think bullying begins around upper elementary school. This is when kids are old enough to get that they can feel power. This is around 3rd or 4th grade you begin to see the "Mean" mentality. I do believe that there are children that can develop it earlier, but for the most part I think it starts about this stage. Kids are bullied for the clothes they wear, the car they drive, the life they choose to live, etc.  The bully has little or no control over their own life so they seek out someone that they can control. If they demean someone, call them names and make them feel bad they are in essence controlling someone else's feelings. This is a crucial stage for us to make sure that our children know how much we love them and how much God loves them. We can't protect them from what happens when they are not with us, but we can prepare them for what happens when they are not with us. Does your child understand their worth? Do they know that they are without a doubt the most valuable and miraculous thing you have ever done? Do they know that no matter what you will always love them and be there for them? Do you shower them with kisses and hugs and love each and every day? How often do you tell them about their heavenly Father? What he did for them? How priceless he thinks they are? I believe this is so important because a child that goes into the world knowing that they are a child of God's and that they are priceless will know how to protect themselves from a bully. Children that don't know these things are the one's that will most likely allow the bullying to have a long lasting effect.

In this day and age though bullying doesn't just happen on the playground. I love Facebook. I used to be the facebook queen, but I have withdrawn from facebook quite a bit over the last couple of years, I still like to post pictures and statuses and tag myself places, but not nearly as much as I used to. And I will be honest one of the biggest reasons is because of facebook drama. Have you ever noticed the bullies on Facebook? My daughter keeps asking me when she will be able to have a facebook account and I have told her on many occasions if I have my way not till she is 18 and no longer a child. Let's be honest for a minute. Kids have a hard time with maturity and knowing what to do on the internet. Now obviously you are supposed to be 13 to have a facebook account. If a parent thinks their child is mature enough to handle it at that age then who am I to tell you how to raise your child? I think if you do decide to let them have one at this point it should be closely monitored by you the parent. CLOSELY MONITORED. I believe until a child is 18 you have every right to be ALL UP IN THEIR BUSINESS! Now if a child is not 13 they have NO BUSINESS being on facebook. Sorry, I know it's the popular thing to do, I know we don't like to tell our kids no, but sometimes we have to decide to be the bad guy and say no. 1. Facebook doesn't allow you to set up an account if you tell them you were born after 2001. If a child is not 13 and has a facebook account either they have done it and you don't know about it, you have given your child permission to lie or you lied for them. If your child secretly has a facebook account then you need to be investigating. If you allowed them to lie or you did it for them then what kind of example is this setting for your child? It's ok to lie so that you can do something popular?
 2. the younger a child is exposed to social media and the internet the easier it will be for them to be bullied or see things on the internet they should not be seeing.




I see internet bullies everyday. People will say bad things about other people on their statuses without saying their name. People will say mean things to other people on their wall. I am sorry, but that is bullying. When you say or do something intentionally to make another person feel bad you are bullying. Teenagers AND adults do it. Why would you want to expose your child to that any younger than you have to? And for those that say "I can't control what my teenager does"..... we need to talk. You can control what your teenager does and you should. And if they get out of control then you need to get the control back. And if that means that their uncontrollable ways cause them to loose their computer, their phone, their car, OR their social life then so be it. The only thing your child is entitled to from you is a pair of clean clothes, a toothbrush and 3 square meals a day. Other than that everything else is a luxery. Am I sounding harsh? Well here's the reality folks, this generation is one of entitlement. Whether they are given everything they ask for or they have nothing at all we have taught this generation a sense of entitlement and we need to take it back. And this is why so many stories come out about bullying. Entitlement is about control and control is about power. When we teach our kids to be respectful and compassionate to others we teach them to be upstanding adults.

 

Kids won't tell you when they are being bullied so as parents we have to make sure we know what's going on to protect them. I don't mean stalk them or over protect them, I'm saying know what's going on in their life. Keep them from being bullied in your home and on your computer by knowing what they are doing. Kids, understand that it is your parents responsibility to know where you are and what you are doing because it is their job to make sure you make it through this life. And you are NOT an adult until you are 18 no matter how old you feel. The real world is tough. The real world is not so much fun if you aren't ready for it. So enjoy having your parents protect you, enjoy living in their home by their rules and enjoy being a kid because there will be days when you are older you will wish all that responsibility wasn't on you.

So what are you worth?  Who determines your worth?



Well I believe we are PRICELESS. God, the creator of the universe and our heavenly Father gave up his son to die on the cross for our sins. Wow, think about it. He knows everything about you, he knows the number of hairs on your head, he knew your name before your parents decided on it. Parents, are you teaching your children their worth? Are you teaching them that no matter what others say or do to them that they are worth more than silver and gold? Kids are you prepared to walk into a lair of a bully and walk away without it affecting your self worth? I am not saying their words won't hurt you or that you won't be frustrated or sad, but will you know that when they say those things it's not really about you, but about them. They want power, control, they want to feel better about themselves. You are just the unlucky one to be in the path of their hunt. And when you walk away will you know that their opinion doesn't matter? Will you decide that in the end no matter what they say or do your heavenly Father thinks you are priceless?

What worth are you putting on yourself?

Social Media Do's and Don'ts

Alright ladies, the last couple of posts have been pretty intense so I figured we would do something a little more fun!

Let's talk about some social media Do's and Don'ts.

1. Enough with the negativity already!!
I understand everyone has a bad day! I know things get tough and we just want someone to feel bad for us, but come on! The rest of social media doesn't want to hear how awful other people are to you, they don't want to know that you have had a tough day or that your boss was mean to you. If you are upset or need to vent call your BFF and let them hear it, but the rest of social media doesn't want to be your therapist! Have you ever noticed when others are down and out your attitude drops? Really, negativity is contagious. I am not saying you can't talk to someone about the bad things that happen in life, I am just saying let social media be a place where you share happy and exciting news. Share good things! Be happy and positive and help others to do the same!


2. Stop being petty!
I actually see this WAY more with adults than I do with teenage girls, but I am going to tell you this ahead of time so you don't do it when you get older! ;) If you are mad at someone, if you get in a fight with someone or don't like someone DON'T put it on facebook. Statuses or posts you put out there to imply your dislike for someone are very juvenile. It makes you look tacky and silly. Grow up and act your age. Stop throwing temper tantrums on social media!




3. Remember people see your pictures so DON'T post anything you will later regret.


It amazes me the pictures people post on the internet. Whether it be a selfie of you in your bedroom half dressed or out with your friends sloppy drunk. The image you portray on social media is the image you will be stuck with. Future employers, future mother in law, and other important people may get the wrong idea of you if they feel your pictures are inappropriate! Remember you are a lady and to come across as such, you want others to think highly of you! I get really tired of hearing people say we need to stop making young women feel bad for dressing inappropriately or portraying themselves in a negative way. Young ladies I WILL HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS! You need to be aware of how you are portraying yourself, you need to be aware that you are responsible for your actions and you need to be aware of how to be that Christian lady God expects you to be. And that Christian lady is not one that takes a high selfie of herself so that her cleavage is staring the camera lens in the face. Take some responsibility!!! Obviously I think boys should abide by these same rules as well, but let's be honest. When was the last time you saw a guy post a picture of him in his boxers, poking out his rear end with a pouty lip??? :) Think about it!

4. Please DON'T proclaim your Christianity and then 2 hours later let the profanity train run through your page!
If you are going to have a filthy mouth, it doesn't look very convincing when you post a scripture on the next line. Most people would look at that and think it's hypocritical. As in all areas of our life, we need to portray Christ all the time, not just when it's convenient. Decide now that if you want to have a Christ like attitude you aren't going to post inappropriate pictures or use foul language, but positive and wholesome things.

1. DO post statuses that show gratitude, happiness and joy!
Corny right? Not really! I once heard someone say "I hope your life is one day as wonderful as you make it sound on facebook." I really thought this was a silly saying because they were sarcastically implying that people play up their life on social media which may be true, but I have to say I love seeing positive and happy attitudes on facebook.  I love to hear what people are thankful for and that they are enjoying life. I think it is negative unhappy people that get irritated with positive statuses because they are unhappy with their life. Does that mean constantly bragging on yourself? No, does that mean when there is a big accomplishment or even a small accomplishment posting it so others can pat you on the back? Absolutely! Your life is what you make it so make it positive!!!


2. DO make others feel special!
I love calling people out on facebook! I love to make others feel special by letting everyone know how wonderful they are! I think we all like that!

3. DO share inspiring and positive posts.
I love the share button. I love that there are things my friends see on their friends pages and that they can share with me. Otherwise I may have never seen that wonderful information! Share things that will uplift and inspire others so that you in turn can be uplifted and inspired!

4. DO shine your light so that others may see it.
Social media can be an extremely powerful tool. Others see what you like, they see what you post and they see what you are reading. Make sure that the things that you are doing on facebook are things that you won't ever be ashamed of. Make the best of your time while using it!

For the Moms and Dads out there.......









Where are your priorities? Think about it for a second. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and jot them down 1-10. Obviously for most people or Christians at least they would probably put God as #1. That's who our first priority should be right? Then  most people would probably put their family. Under that might be work, sports, exercising, some sort of hobby you enjoy doing, or even school. Now that you have them written down in front of you I want you to stop and examine it. Are you looking at it and really examining it? Now I want you to think about your life and really consider whether or not these are your priorities. It's easy to write them down, its even easy to talk about them, but are we living them?

We are getting ready to head into our revival week next week at church and our minister has really been preaching about where we put God and church in our life. And I pray that our congregation has been really listening and taking to heart what he has been saying. I have definitely gotten several things out of it. I wonder though if people really realize the priorities in their head aren't usually the priorities in their life.

Earlier I said it was the obvious answer that Christians would put God as their #1 priority. God tells us he should be our #1. He tells us we should love him and put him above all things. This was a hard concept for me for a REALLY long time. I mean until about a year ago, I didn't get this concept. I am a very family oriented person and it was really hard for me to imagine being able to love anyone more than I love my husband, or my children, or my parents, or my nieces and nephew. I just couldn't comprehend it. Yet, God commands us to love him first.

Mark 12:30 - And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your power; this is the first commandment.

We are commanded to love God with EVERYTHING before anything else.

Does your life reflect that?

Growing up in my family there were very few things that came before sports. My dad taught us unless we were dying, we went to every practice and every game and we gave 100%. The only thing I can think of that would have taken priority over sports is God. Every time the doors were open at church my family was there. Every time there was something going on at church whether it was a youth event or a revival or a potluck we were there. No questions asked. And as important as sports were to our family, it was never questioned that God was of higher importance. I love my Daddy, I am and always have been a Daddy's girl. And I can tell you that you can't get much closer to a perfect God fearing and loving man than my Daddy. You will never hear anyone say anything bad about him. You will never hear him say anything bad about anyone else. He is the most honest and faithful man. As I say that you should know that my Daddy was in a career for 13 years where he could not go to church on Sunday mornings because as a professional football player he was in team meetings and getting ready for games. He always made sure that in some way or another he had his time with God before he focused on football. And outside of that we were always involved in church activities. My Dad made sure we knew God was to be our first priority and after that was up to us.

Does your life revolve around God and let other things sprinkle in? Or does your life revolve around other things and let God sprinkle in? Is God a necessity or a convenience?

I will tell you what I have seen over the last 10 years of working with churches and youth groups. A lot of Christians lives revolve around other things and let God sprinkle in. We get very busy with a lot of different things. Sports, work, kids programs, dance, after school activities and we feel committed to those things. We allow all of these other things to take priority over God whether its missing church for a game or a practice, missing an important church event because of a meeting or other obligation and we find time for God when we don't have all these other things going on.

What message are we sending our children?

What are we telling our children when we skip church because we stayed out at an event too late Saturday night and don't want to get up?
What are we telling our children when we blow off a potluck or a revival because we have too many practices?
What are we telling our children when we don't go to services on a Sunday or Wednesday night because it will stress us out getting home so late on a school night?
What are we telling our children when we show up for worship service, but not for Sunday school class?
What are we telling our children when we find time for everything BUT God?


We are telling them it's ok to make God a convenience. We are saying that it's up to us and our schedule, not God and his. Parents, we have got to realize we are responsible for our children's souls. We are responsible for what they are learning now so that they take it into adulthood with them and pass it on to our grandchildren and our great- grandchildren. We are laying the foundation now in our children to become strong Christian men and women. And the only way that we can teach them that is by showing them that God is the priority in our life. We need to begin to make changes in our life to make sure that God is the center and we make time for everything else. We need to make sure our children know what is important and that we make sure they know God comes above ALL else.

Decide now that you want to make God the center of your family and if you have time for those other things then GREAT! Right now our children only have a couple of things that they are involved in and so far we haven't had to make that decision of this or that, but when the day comes we have already decided our children will know that God comes first. Their coaches will know that God comes first. Their dance teachers, extra curricular activity supervisors and anyone else that does things with our kids will know that God comes first. And if that means missing a practice, a game or whatever in the end my children's relationship with God and their salvation is WAY more important than any skill or trophy they will get here on earth.  Start living by the priority list in your head and not the one in your datebook.